How many times have you been teased by family members about having a partner and then having a child with them?

Is it often that it comes from family members who have their own relationship issues, which can be byproducts of emotional damage?

How much of a fight are they willing to resist having with you once you give them a response and they’re not ready to hear?

That last one can melt into other topics, but in this one, it can surely hit a soft spot.

With the last relationship I was in, we talked about it, along with external suggestions that a baby should be on the way. For reasons, I’m glad that it never happened.

Only speaking for myself this time, I was nowhere near an emotional state to take care of a child, whether it was by birth or by adoption. That’s because for too long, I was soaking in the trauma bonds that would have made that child grow up a world very similar to the one I was in. And they would not have deserved that anymore than I didn’t.

If you’re the parent or relative of a child who is in a place to have children, and you’ve pushed that idea towards them, ask yourself a few things.

Have you given them the emotional stability needed to bring one in the world? Can you respect their wishes to either not have one, or refuse to let you see them once they are born? Because that’s a possibility that you may have earned, because of your treatment of them.

If you’re a child of a parent who wants you to bring a life here, or have relatives and friends saying the same, stay true to your own choices. Sometimes when they say they want what’s best for you, is only what’s best for them. And there’s a chance that you have lived through enough situations unrelated to childbirth where your needs are a distant second to theirs.

The world is full of enough disheartened and hurting people that are comfortable in their mindsets, or learning how to navigate the world for removed from the old thought patterns. The former may not care, but the latter will not want to pass that on to another grown person, and especially the next generation.

It’s high time that the second group get the respect they deserve.