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The ABC’s of being a POS: Intro
(Edited 08/09/2024)
Note: This upcoming series is for entertainment and educational purposes only. If you wish to learn more about mental health, abusive behaviors, and support, please talk to your primary physician’s office, or a licensed professional.
For emergencies, please call 911, or call 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
Life is full of a healthy balance of people that deserve hugs or suplexes.
Sometimes both.
There’s a long list of examples of these people in both the past and present, public or private figures, and all types of relationships.
No matter what, the world has its shares of people that deserve attention as much as the others need to be starved from it.
This is dedicated to the second half.
By now you’ve assumed that the POS in the title does NOT mean “point of sale.” It means the other thing.
The one that made you think of a person or people who could understand physical actions more than a sentence about their behavior.
And even though one word or phrase will sometimes be used for each letter, they are not limited to them.
Consider each one a gateway into others that, like the ones chosen here, are tied to each other, and will be mentioned and even repeated within most of them.
So, if you or someone you know is a POS, and you’re looking for how to increase your villain potential, you’ve come to the wrong place.
After all, what better way to talk about the tricks and tips in ways that match your actions towards your targets/marks?
No matter what, remember this quote as this journey begins:
“If it hurts you, it’s about you.”
-Kingston Priest
P.S. – It is understood that there are those with undiagnosed or misdiagnosed mental conditions which will have similar behaviors mentioned here. This is in no way meant to offend them, or their related parties. This project is dedicated to those who choose to behave certain ways that deserve to be spoken about.
First: Animosity
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Up: Progressive Moves After Losing a Job
How long have you been somewhere that you grew out of before you finally found a way out, or they found a way to get you out?
For reasons that are confidential, I was released for my job on the 21st, a Friday. After nearly three and a half years, my body didn’t fully feel the effects of the loss until Monday.
But after that and other matters were taken care of, I took advantage of the free time to do a lot of cleansing which I either never had the time for, or didn’t make time for.
And when I say cleansing, I don’t just mean in the physical level. There were energies and mentalities that were a mix of non-work related matters, and the fact that I knew in my heart that I had outgrown the place. I wasn’t the only one feeling that way, but that’s their stories to tell.
Options on where to go had been presented in ways that were helpful because of the job. But the work that I have been doing on myself with this blog, various avenues of support from the trustworthy, and just overall not giving up on myself which included allowing myself to rest, all of it is key towards the better place that I always knew I belonged.
Now as I say all of this, there is little to no bad blood with the people there. They had a job to do, and so did I, even on the way out.
The closest I could come to saying anything rude about some members is that I was aware of pending investigations with those unrelated to me and my status. But that’s their fight, that’s their burden, and that’s their karma.
The same could be said for the events leading to my departure. But taking it in stride and with respect for myself and the former associates spoke more about my character than any notes about my time there ever will.
As for what’s next? Something better, something fitting to the decades of creative skills I’ve attained, mixed with the ones that started and rediscovered when this blog began.
There were many good, enjoyable, and educational moments throughout my time with them. But deep inside, I’m sure enough people knew I was meant for more than what the place could, or would have wanted to offer.
It also took me to realize that, as well, and stick with it, as I have in various ways.
Because of that line of thinking, that’s what made me say the following to a friend: “Quitting meant that I found something. Getting fired means that something found me.”
There are ways that can be expanded on on a case-by-case level, but it goes back to what I said before, that another friend even felt glas that I took this transition in stride.
It’s not without the anxieties that can come up and down before the next position. Some of them inspired by those who have their own financial insecurities before harping about my own.
This time, however, feels very different.
This time there’s experience, assurance, and faith that this will be the last time I ever have to face this kind of event. Because before, those 10 months before being hired by this last position, which were also the catalyst for me starting this blog and my mental health journey, I was in search out of desperation. Now there’s a matter of clarity towards my destination. One that I thought I didn’t deserve or didn’t believe was within reach.
That’s not the case, anymore. I can and will only go up from here.
K.P.
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Let’s Get It Started (Short Entry)
None of us know how much time we have left to be better than the person we regret living as.
As long as you started out loud for people to see, hear, and feel, few would be bold enough to take that from you, especially after your time’s come.
Anyone that does will be outnumbered and revealed to be the inspiration for your changes.
But it feels good knowing that while you are still here, there will be the people that will speak well of your name without you being in the room.
And that alone is a good enough reason to start while you are still here to be better.K.P.
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Man in the Mirror: Working with Others and Myself in Unison.
The funniest thing I’ve noticed about my time of not writing as much on here, that I can be in conversations with different people and say things that are reflective of what I’ve said on here, and what deserves to be here in an extensive or basic form.
Here’s one example, stemming from an issue one friend is having about a person they disconnected from, but wishes to reconnect despite having alleged ties to a group that my friend also walked away from.
“We have reached a point of mentality where the less cloudy and negative the analyzation is towards a person, the safer a connection they may be. We don’t deserve to be around idle threats the way we were raised to be “comfortable” with. And the more people like that understand [that] with someone, the wiser they can look by staying away by any means.”
So, even though I may not have been up on updating the blog like I used to, the work is still being done. Not just in myself, but with others that are open to listen and even advise when I need it.
I need to do better with keeping a collection of these type of quotes to help prompt future entries. Not that I don’t have enough to go off of.
K.P.
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Working: Looking Back on 4 Years of This Page
Last Saturday, August 1st, was the four-year anniversary of this page, and I meant to say something even then.
So, I’m going to make up for it right here by first asking myself a question:
What do I have to show for it?
Given that this October will be 10 years since I first went to any counseling, and still seeing the one that I first met back in 2021, more was done within the past 4 years than I ever could have expected.
In no particular order:
Created my first web series in over a decade that doubles as proof that I may have been quiet, but always paid attention to the toxicity around me, and in me.
Learned emotional regulation that never would have been taught from anyone that proved they were above that.
Completed a Harvard course that made me a better writer, and proved to myself how passionate of a student I can still be.
Gained respect for asking serious questions towards snap behaviors that I inspired, but may never know the reasons I did.
Helped others understand their own emotions without jeers or deflection that reflected my history of receiving those reactions.
Found better safety in digging deeper into myself, learning more of why other’s instability triggers my own.
Relearned hard lessons on the benefits of a slow burn connection, and to never ignore the red flags waving within them.
Acknowledged the red flags that I also waved, falsely looking at them with red tinted glasses like I did with the others.
And, among other notable facts, most of all…
Successfully recorded a minute and thirty-eight seconds of proof that I was never the crazy one. It’s the most damming of the collection, anyway.
I know this looks similar to highlights on a resume, but too often this is labeled as “doing the work,” so it fits.
It’s going to be interesting to see how certain people or groups will take the news that I’ve been doing this in plain sight for so long. While a handful have done it while I managed the page, it clearly didn’t stop me.
Meanwhile, others will only be able to do so much at the risk of exposing themselves as the inspiration for the inner work that couldn’t stay in forever.
And as much as I’d love the chance to have my experiences lead to a lasting and satisfying career, that’s going to take more than just knowing the right people and submitting the perfect CV.
It’s going to take me putting reclaimed time into sharing details of those mock bullet points.
It’s going to take not getting in my own way any more than I already have.
It’s even going to take reminders that I can still have the type of fun that I’ve been having in-between and during these lessons.
Because it takes a bold and artistic mind to legally fight the way I was meant to. And even with the many that I know that have turned their pain into passion and purpose, no one is going to do it the way I have, and will continue to.
Welcome back, me. That’s going to be some interesting stories to tell tell, just like before.
Kingston Priest
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The Spot: Perspective of a Black Person in White Spaces (Finale)
The following series is for entertainment and educational purposes, only.
In closing, to the fellow black folk that read this and know of a Spot in your life or scope, y’all can do what you do with them.
Not all of them are going to be on some Candace, Clarence, the Hodges, and especially Kanye type talk. But we got a lot more in common than roping us in with those people, especially in matters of music and intimacy tastes.
As for the non-black folk that made it this far, mostly the white ones, a longer message.
The chances of feeling guilty over the examples are yours to feel, as much as they are ours to remove ourselves from and continue to heal from. Black folks are more observant of your behavior than you think. How we respond to it, and even how long it takes for us to respond to it will vary.
While historically, some of you did better once you knew better, the rest of you feel entitled to play in our faces.
Adopt our culture.
Learn our songs.
Marry our women.
Kill our men. AND women.
But especially since 2024, it’s been beautifully displayed that this fight to show us respect is between your own people. The ones who see us as equals. The ones who see color, and fight for that equality. The ones who can read and respect why they can never go to the “cookout,” and hopefully enhance their own.
We have a lot more in common than ridiculing the Spot for going outside society’s stereotypical expectations for being Black. Because even our allies and accomplices understand that being black is an honor and that we come from greatness.
And deep inside, the Spot knows that, too.
And you’ll know when they know, especially once they switch daps to handshakes with you, if anything at all. Because at the end of the day, their black fist in the air is more important than the clapping and tap dancing they have done for you.
Kingston Priest
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The Spot: Perspective of a Black Person in White Spaces (Part 3 of 4)
The following series is for entertainment and educational purposes, only.
Please read parts 1 and 2, first.
All of this is why the Spot is not without their own observations, especially when they can’t express any anger towards it without it turning into, arguably at best, a spiritual lynching. But at least with that, the lessons learned from it can prevent more emotional scars from joining the older ones.
But it gets tiring to put every new white connection under a microscope to make sure that not a shred of ignorance can come from them, either. The Spot may already have enough to deal with regarding their own race being even bigger traitors, specifically those who value money over morality.
Either way, the Spot can hope to have built enough information about them to know whether they can be told about themselves or not.
Reasons the Spot may have accepted these abusive patterns may come from a home environment where silence was golden. Where even the adult members had to “stay in a child’s place” while others paraded any level of heartless behavior.
So naturally, Spot can feel a sense of comfort and familiarity with any group that looks or doesn’t look like them. Some would consider it “trauma bonding,” which can take decades to realize and unpack, like it did for me.
So, what can a Spot do with that knowledge? They don’t have to write pages about their views like I did, but they can choose to acknowledge any pain felt from similar history to my own and make distance from its sources either limited or indefinite.
The quieter it’s done, the more freedom can be felt from it all. These groups that they can walk away from are far from being an airport, so no need to announce any departure.
Leaving them can open them up for more solid, healthier connections, still without the barriers of race and nationality, but with assurance that any person, or people, will not make them feel excluded or a hot target in a crowded room.
–Kingston Priest
Final Part. -
The Spot: Perspective of a Black Person in White Spaces (Part 2 of 4)
(Updated August 4th, 2026)
The following series is for entertainment and educational purposes, only.
Link for Part 1.
Here are few examples that I’ve lived through.
There was a side topic I overheard at a party regarding spotted lantern flies destroying crops in most of New Jersey, one season, and how there were full rallies about culling them to save the crops. During the talk, one of the men of the group shouted in jest that “flies lives matter,” which rang uncomfortable echoes of “Black Lives Matter.”
Another involved a live group chat, where the white host had expressed his disgust about people’s opinion towards a tiktok duet that he made with me, using the word “woke” in the way that has been turned it into a diet version of black slurs. The live feed was interrupted before anything could be said about it.
There was another time prior to both of those examples, through with a different group, where another white male stated the following. “Rock music: invented by blacks, perfect by whites.” It got a huge round of applause and laughter from everyone but me, the Spot, who risked a lot expressing anger that will be brought up later.
While there are plenty more examples I can draw from, for now, let’s look at the outsider’s view of the Spot.
To most black folk that view them from the outside, there can be immediate judgement that they are the “Oreo,” a sell-out, or worse, the “coon” of the group.
But that judgement can also be made from the whites within said group. Statements like “you’re the whitest black person I know” can come with a condescending tone and laughter from one side, while another can state that with sheer disgust that you betrayed your race.
Either side will have its reasons to say it to their intended target. The Spot can be talked down for listening to one rock song by a white artist, and the “court of public opinion” may not acknowledge the black roots of the genre. Or hopefully do so without mirroring the example I spoke of earlier.
Spot can have romantic interests outside their race, specifically white, and the same “court” refuses to see how love can and has existed throughout all races. They can exist without a hint of exotification, and without the threat of adding to historic tragedies related to mixed race events, be they romantic, platonic, etc.
Personal experiences tied to that last part have varied. One former connection would often parade his black wife’s presence online by stating that she was black. It was usually said after addressing an unrelated matter towards someone insulting his character.
Another had a time where he saw a black woman grocery shopping at his old job and finally saw any of them as being only worth sleeping with, despite the closet racism within most of his own family, and allegedly in himself. He then had the nerve to ask me if I could ask my then-girlfriend if she could hook him up with one of her friends. In short, it didn’t happen.
Next: Part 3 -
The Spot: Perspective of a Black Person in White Spaces (Part 1 of 4)
(Updated August 4th, 2026)
The following series is for entertainment and educational purposes, only.
You can learn a lot from being the “spot in a cup of milk.”
While I have a vague idea who first told me that phrase, I was quick enough to know what it meant in the context it was given in.
Being the spot in a cup of milk referred to being the sole black person in a group of white people.
It is something that I have had a long history of being. Rarely will there be a group that doesn’t reveal any red flags about it. But I’ve seen enough to speak on what will not be every black or PGM’s experience but know there’s enough of us that can relate and won’t get into those situations ever again, if it can be helped.
On the flip side, there will be white folk that will read or eventually listen to this that may feel exposed and get defensive, with a “my best friend/partner/family member is black” statement loaded in the chamber.
As if we’re not “shot” at, enough.
Some who personally know me might even come out with the “how dare you” or “after all we’ve been through” lines, especially halfway through this.
All I can say to them is…proceed. This won’t be as gloves-on or colorful as my last mini-series was, but plenty of that is aligned with what will be talked about, here.
With all of that out the way, here’s what can be said about the Spot, both in my experience, and in observation.
If they are not careful, the Spot will miss the micro and passive aggression about their race, and even their physical appearance tied to it, while within these circles. Comments about playing specific types of sports, assumptions that you have a criminal record, sexual deviancy, and more.
Their intelligence will be undermined or brought into question, usually in a causal way to make them think that this is a friendly discussion, versus a show of authority and even superiority. It doesn’t matter what the topic is. The “great white shark” of the group will circle its prey before they know when to take a bite out their dark meat.
The Spot can chime into a conversation and be welcomed into it, so long as they don’t bring up any black perspectives surrounding it. Like before, the topic doesn’t matter. It can be something fun, geeky, or universally beloved with all races, there can or will be the risk of triggering discomfort from their white counterparts if you even hint a black connection to the topic.
And those white spaces may allow “a black” into their mix, so long as they aren’t called out on any statements that can imply comfort in bigotry and racism.
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Part 2. -
A Lover’s Quarrel: The Importance of Self-Love Before Romantic Love
You can learn a lot about love in a very short amount of time.
At times, it can be because you haven’t healed a part of you that thinks you have to find and hold onto it just so you can be somebody to others. To feel like you are somebody to yourself because someone is at your side.
That’s when you get reminders, or even revelations of how you were acting in the pursuit of even short-term passion. How you kept submitting to emotionally distant people that, if you’re lucky, will breadcrumb you into thinking you have a chance to even hold hands.
And like most painful patterns, the concept of love starts at home.
A few are lucky enough to grow up in an environment where they teach the importance of prioritizing self-love, self-acceptance, and building high self-esteem. It can hopefully attract like-minded connections that could be, or be connected to, the life partner that you’ve been manifesting about in silence.
For others, it takes a while. Decades, even. Heartbreaks received and even delivered all towards a key point where they learn what it really takes to have a healthy romance.
It first starts with having a solid relationship with yourself. Mostly by forming, reforming, and respecting your boundaries that filter out what no longer serves you, and draws in what does without connecting with others out of desperation.
And it doesn’t have to be a perfect relationship with yourself. Healing is nonlinear, so there will be days that you don’t have the energy for it. You just have to stay consistent with your own emotional terms and conditions that can prevent the old desires from taking hold again.
Because you can’t expect a love interest or a full partner to respect you if you don’t respect yourself. And even then, you have to make sure you don’t risk crossing the lines of narcissism, sociopathy, and more.
The heart, both in spirit and metaphor, is a powerful, fragile, and dangerous thing to handle in ourselves.
It’s why there are those who refuse to give out their hearts ever again, for their own reasons. While others are justified in being more selective in who they give their hearts to, especially those seeking long-term commitments.
And for those that do, or want to find that life partner, class will always be in session. Because you will learn a lot about love in a short and long amount of time.
What you do with those lessons will determine if you’re meant to retake the class like I had to, recently, or be in a place to be both the student and the teacher, like I’m aiming to be, again.
Kingston Priest
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Power to the People: A Black Man’s Rant.
While I have been away, I knew that I would have some things to say during Black History Month.
Turns out I have a LOT.
It’s one thing for me to ask if my peoples are good without them knowing that I am also black. It’s another thing to assume that any black folk reading this aren’t the ones being dismissive or celebrating the cruelty and bigotry that they think they are immune to.
But I do love the strength of accountability being thrown at anyone of color betraying their race, their lineage. It’s nothing new, but thankfully it is more recordable than ever.
The rest of us on the right side of history? We are doing what we can to stay informed and sane at the same time. Making sure we don’t have full faith in the mainstream media, while giving independent news sources more attention, but the same if not harder level of scrutiny.
That’s not just for us to do. That’s for everyone of every race and nationality that still has a heart for those outside of, or alternative to our lifestyles, our employment status, and especially outside of our choice of faith, if any.
And I will not be shy about the rage I have been feeling on and off since last year up until now. I have thought and implied things that would have me questioned, or even “disappeared.”
I’m not alone. Because you can only speak to anyone’s sympathy for so long before you feel other methods deserve to be explored, if not wished for.
We are entitled to that level of rage. We are allowed to feel it until we decide how to express it. Centuries of the body keeping score, genetically passed down to have the trauma repeated in the home, long enough that it becomes family doctrine that no one is allowed to break.
We are entitled to purge that trauma from our blood, our spirit, our communities of choice. But there is a fine line between feeding those in hiding, and being starved for a banana clip to empty onto the reasons they hide.
And that’s what they have wanted from the beginning. For black bodies to repeat the energy of Summer of 2020. To be treated the way our ancestors, relatives, even elder friends were, back when they also said “no more.”
But we know better. We don’t forget, ignore, or erase history.
Not all of us are designed to retain all of it, but we know enough to stand strong. To believe that joy, art, and love, is still resistance. To believe that justice can be as slow or as swift as its opponents demand it to be. To believe that this will not end with us in flames, again, but in favor for all who stand with us.
We, the people, have come too far to lose ourselves to this outright evil. Not when they know what power we hold. And especially with us knowing how deeply they fear our power.
Let’s keep showing them our power.
-Kingston Priest
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