(Title theme of the month: Horror movies/freestyle)

The importance of knowing who you can vent to cannot be stressed enough. Not just to your therapist if you have one. The people that you know can take in what you want or need to say about your life.

These are the people that hold you up and glue you back together while you wait on your next appointment. If given the opportunity, they get to hear that they’re doing so for you.

What’s equally important is that you ask if they’re in a place to hear you vent. And not just someone to vent to, but to be a willing listener.

Info dumping on some heavy issues without clearance can lead the audience to hesitate wanting to talk with you at most points, or even dare to ask “how are you doing?” Which most times, if they’re asking that, they should either be ready for an abridged take on your feelings, or something that will make War and Peace look like a pamphlet.

And it’s also okay to be cautious in asking if they’re emotionally available to hear you. Mostly because you’ve had people say they will listen, but show in their own ways they regret doing it. Avoiding you is a popular sign, or even triggering when you think someone else may be there for you until they’re away from you.

All the more reason to ask, first. If they say no, try not to put them in the same boxes as those that showed legitimate apathy.

We are all fighting something that we are constantly learning how to speak up about, learn how to counterattack the negative thoughts, or afraid to even put up a boundary or take the first swing on.

The ones that truly care for you will always say anything to the effect of “I’m not in a place to hear you right now, but know that I love you, and care for you.” It means something when they’re in a special place in their life to state this. It’s also a great way to say that when they’re ready, they want and need you to be around to speak your truth.

Be sure you do the same for others if you’re in the opposite part of that exchange. There’s a lot more peace in that than most people will realize, and both sides will unknowingly heal from anyone that’s done the opposite.