Something I learned recently that had me go back to a previous entry. It’s one about learning how the patterns you wish to break reflect ones of narcissists and toxic people. But there’s something extra to add to that.

First, imagine having a collection of items on your desk or nightstand, ranging from things of sentimental value to ones that need special disposal, like dead batteries. Then you see a similar mess on your partner, or even parent’s furniture, like a TV stand.

This isn’t far from the truth about what happened to me recently. I started believing that I was no better than them, so other toxic traits may as well be true, too. Some have been.

Taking a more active motion in changing that has been important for a long time. It comes in pieces, but the more they glue together, the closer you get to being far removed from people that you’ve unknowingly modeled yourself after.

So what if even a part of your room or house is a mess? Take your time in changing that, just as it’s important to do that with your mind and body. Do it in a way that announces your rise into everything you know you are. Ignore the others that influenced your old self, but take their actions as lessons, not barricades.

Maybe then, you’ll see even the little similarities as healthier character traits, and not gateways to being the old you. Or in a more uncomfortable sense, the current them.

D.F.