Anxiety often inspires writing these posts.

Like it draws out something that I may have talked about before, and then gives more that I forgot about. I even feel like I brought that up in a previous entry. The memory between repurposed drafts and same-day writings blend together.

But having this page left behind in case of any life changes is still a great feeling, even if sometimes I write stuff down in hopes of getting to a point, like I am now.

Or maybe this is a good time to freestyle instead.

At least this way, I’m not feeling like I’m forcing myself to be on topic every time.

Sometimes I have to air out things that are formless but still impactful, and the impactful things hurt enough to wonder when and how will they end?

Much as I wish I was an overnight success at everything I’ve built towards, the very things I have made for myself leading up to orientation* still speak well towards something I can’t see yet, but months from now I will love that I started when, how, and why I did.

And trust that there’s plenty of topics based on the multiple affects worth writing about.

For now, I’m letting the mind be free.

D.F.

*this was written days before the orientation for the new job, which by the time of this posting will have been a week or more.