(Edited 11/28/2023)

For some of us, the mind wanders back to people that are long removed from our lives. People we cut off, or they cut us off, both with little or no chance of reconnection.

We might think about how things could be in this new season of your own growth away from them. Quicker with jokes, deeper in topics that keep the connections exciting for the long run, anything to cause some serotonin to briefly forget the reality with the old ties.

For some of us, we risk or succeed in backsliding. I know that I’ve come dangerously close to doing that with some. Others are a hard “NO,” and I feel like they are the inspirations to keep that same energy with the lesser ones.

I want to believe that these thoughts of alternate histories are a recollection of what I enjoyed about the past with those people, but can and have been found with current, new, and safer ones.

The new connections can add so much more than the past ones could ever have hoped to, while also reflecting the person we’ve grown to be. Especially in contrast to people that dismissed or even ghosted us long ago for who we were.

But as far as the ones we may, or do think of, maintain the place they’ve earned in your heart. Even if they’ve changed for the better, we’re not in a place to bring them back and be proven wrong (again).

This can go the other way around, and that on its own can help us stay better for those we unconditionally love, and for ourselves.

D.F.