(Edited 11/28/2023)

How long have you heard about food being a tie to your emotions? Stuff about better quality meaning better moods. Sadly it can’t always be done without a stable income, or having access to places that meet it.

Even with budgeting for healthier food, that “comfort food” feeling comes up to avoid meal prepping, choosing what’s under a heat lamp instead. Though the potential wait time in any fast food line can equal what could be made.

It’s been hard to hold the healthy line for the last few months, given the lower budget I had to deal with until recently. Still praising all the free and local resources, and hopefully remain there for people that are still struggling.

Not saying that I’m “well off.” Far from it. But better than how things were before.

And with all the job matters, multiple caretaking duties, and time management with my therapist since last year, my overall health had its ups and downs. Ones that sometimes affected what I wanted to do, what I wanted to say, and how I needed to say them.

It didn’t matter if I was hungry, thirsty while confusing it as hunger, or overate any quick fixes. I found myself revisiting an old relationship with food that was based on new means of functionality and survival.

There were even times that I’m in the line thinking “you shouldn’t be here, but…”

I don’t want to come off as someone who shames anyone for reaching out to your favorite snacks and more. You’re fine to have anything in moderation, and that’s what I was lacking control of. Treats became every (other) day, regardless if I was picking up meds or caretaking. It was a love/hate relationship.

And I remember the time that I did much better, though in hindsight I was starving myself by relying on special shakes and more. These were similar words by a dietician, too. At least now whenever I go back to the way of the shake, it’ll be with experience on what not to do to myself again.

So I’ll be, or by the time you read this, have been doing better regulating the cravings for certain burgers and nuggets. Money towards them already has a history of paying for a supply versus a portion. At least that way there’s methods to soften the blow the outside food industry is proud to be guilty of.

If you’re in the same lane of wanting to feel and eat better, do it based on your circumstances. Be honest with where you are, what you know you can do, and to not be discouraged by wherever you feel like you backslid.

It’s no different from the mindset of the mental health journey. Just consider the food aspect of it a side order.

D.F.