(Edited 9/19, 9/26/2023)

I spoke with a friend of mine a while back, and they shared how and why they are still virtually connected to an ex that was a mess of a person.

My friend doesn’t always go out of their way to antagonize the ex that they have children with, except for specific parental holidays, which are fueled by a point where the ex claimed that they wouldn’t make it in life.

My friend proved them wrong in wonderful ways that I wish I could share.

While I enjoyed and even related to the acts that fit a mantra/lyric “success is the best revenge,” added to their path of self-healing and MH advocacy in a similar season to my own, I had to advise them on something.

There will be that point where they won’t need to make that level of contact with their ex anymore. They agreed that the day will come. It’s a natural feeling that can’t be forced, and I made sure to say that I’d never force that.

People that choose to heal properly do so at a rate based on multiple factors. Giving them grace while they do so is a chance to understand your own path in it, and have both of you meeting in the middle without fearing or attempting a power struggle.

That’s what’s missing in the world. People slowing down their thoughts and quieting the ego long enough to be taught how to treat others where they’re at, and where they’re going.

And if you love someone as deeply as my friend and I do for each other, you’ll do that without hesitation.

D.F.