I do my best to not believe in the voices that claim that I should have done more than just create this blog over a year ago now. The ones that I am sure I addressed before that are based on the past and present people in my life who expect more out of you, at the high chance of them wanting your attention towards them more.

And it gets exhausting up here. Wondering whether or not it’s me telling myself these things, or voices inspired by those people? Sometimes it feels like a blend of the two, often leaning towards the other side.

But I have to remember that I have been following orders, demands, and on rare occasions threats for so long, quieting those inner thoughts is an exercise in itself. And I’m sure the longer I could have gone listening to them, the faster I would have ended up anywhere but writing as long as I have.

And that’s why I need to keep doing it. To do more than to bend to voices of even the departed that, if they were here today, would have been cut off. Which honestly can be a topic on its own, but still has earned its place here.

I just know that whatever is next for me as I continue this journey on here, and elsewhere, the last thing I need to do is rush towards it. Forcing myself towards the things I wanted the most hasn’t always worked out, but the steady pace always did, and I’m sure the same will apply here.

All I have to do is keep going.

D.F.