On my last post, I said that I could have been in any location aside from my current one without the knowledge I gained by being where I am now.

What I didn’t get into is how so much of my locations of interest were based on past romantic ties.

It didn’t matter if we were in a relationship or feeling like one was possible, I always felt the need to be closer to the person of interest. Yes there were ones that lived close that could have been a romantic link, but whether near or far, there’s been silent or vocal agreements that friendship/acquaintanceship was for the best.

Except for one. A person that I share current mutual love for, while still abiding by the social labels of being “single.” Even with that, living closer is a feat that would guarantee us becoming “official,” but much growth has always been needed as individuals before knowing if even that is meant to be.

And that’s what was missing from past interests; me not knowing what I wanted in and for myself, and instead driving towards what I felt was needed for us to thrive. I made choices like that in my last official relationship, and off of that alone I eventually learned to be better.

Besides, having a relationship with yourself is what’s needed for any kind of partnership to thrive. You may not need to feel complete, and you may be chosen while you’re restructuring yourself. But you can still know enough to know what is best for you, and the both of you.

Even if what’s best means not being together as more than friends, or even as that.

Wherever my next destination is, it will be in a conscious mind that’s not based on trauma bonded actions like they used to be. And if my person and I are meant to be together in shorter traveling distance, surely there will be celebration.

Nothing would mean more than to celebrate choosing myself first, and let life do what it does best: keep on surprising me the way my person did 🙂

D.F.