I’ve been doing a lot of research about what it means to be a scapegoat. I’ve know of the term for ages, but it means more when I finally applied it to myself.

For those new to the term, it’s sometimes labeled as the “black sheep (of the family),” often the whistleblower that calls out negative behaviors, either towards an individual or towards a group or more.

The scapegoat can even be the trauma and insecurity dump, often by people that, as I’ve talked about many times and in different ways before, refuse to be held accountable by their faults. It’s easier to bring your own troubles up to boost their twisted ego(s).

While it’s VERY easy to tag that on family structures, social ones count as well. At least they’re easier to remove from your life, if not greatly limit their exposure to you.

So what do you do with this knowledge? Well one thing is to not let it define who you know you’re not. These labels only signify what you are to others that will find new ways to devalue you, hoping that you buy into the lie that you’re less than your heightened self-worth.

You keep doing what is best for you in your time. Reading, writing, teaching your way out from the system that needs you near them. The more they try to pull or keep you in, the more damaged they’ll feel without you.

Not your problem.

Even if they still treat you like the black sheep when you’ve gained that distance, let them. There’s no changing someone’s mind about you when they’ve set it to believe that your tainted role in life is finalized.

You’re better than their emotional jabs. Their fake tears. Their demands to be the old you.

If you’re careful, by the time they learn who you’ve become, it’ll be too late for them to try any of that.

And even in your carefulness, take breaks, but never stop.

D.F.