“There’s some opportunities that won’t find you because of what surrounds you.” – Trent Sheldon, during The Mel Robbins Podcast.

I can think back to how many things naturally came into my life because of making distance from people that that I knew weren’t right for me, but still felt obligated to stay connected to them. It’s one of the costs of trauma bonding that I’ve been breaking and I’ve been vocal about the more I’ve learned from it.

I’ve written a few times in the past about that kind of presence, even moments where I was the negative one. The second half is important overall in mental health, since it’s helped me know what I don’t want from other connections, so the ones that are meant for me come and stay.

It’s not a fully secure space for all of us. Some of us may still be around people that don’t want you above their vision of you, and can verbally dress it as if those ideas don’t exist, or they’re your fault.

That’s proof that you’re onto something, and should stay on it.

So whatever or even whoever your heart desires and you wish it to find you, do yourself a favor. If you want to share that with anyone, make sure they have a clear record of cheerleading and coaching you towards your goals. Anyone else revels in their ability to drain you of time, resources, and hope.

The greater their distance, the closer you come to what’s meant for you.

D.F.