I have plenty of things that are figuratively or literally collecting dust. Thankfully I’ve made great strides in clearing stuff out, and I’ve adopted the method of doing bits of it at a time. Hours I’m working stopped being an excuse, fitness regiments are kind of worked into it. Screen time, ironically, is the big one to manage the most. But I could still reorganize properly in the areas of my room, alone, that deserve it. I’ll get to it for sure. The less physical clutter, the better clarity my mind will hopefully have.
Category: Uncategorized
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Scapegoating
Whenever you’re concerned about feeling the weight of your actions bringing you down, choose someone or a group of people to bear that burden on your behalf, and certainly against their wishes.
Scapegoating is when someone is used to absorbing your own mistakes and bad habits. You can artfully do this with multiple techniques on this list to take the edge off their defense or offense.
It’s a surprise move that will stun your marks enough to seemingly not challenge you later. If you’ve picked the right one, nothing can harm you.
But rest assured, there’s little to no such thing as the “right one.”
–Kingston Priest
Previous: Respect
Next: “Tough!”This series is for entertainment and educational purposes only. If you wish to learn more about mental health, abusive behaviors, and support, please talk to your primary physician’s office, or a licensed professional.
For emergencies, please call 911, or call 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
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Respect
Respect is earned with and through healthy people, but you’re built different.
What you provide, how you set the guilt trips and gaslights, and ending with the last word to your bragging and devaluing is why you demand acknowledgement from anyone that sees you as a bully or abuser.
Remember to keep them sedated for as long as you can!
And after all you’ve done for them, this is how they treat you!
Be the best POS possible by making them wish that your definition of respect should always be one-sided, because that’s all you can handle!
-Kingston Priest
Previous: Quiet
Next: ScapegoatingThis series is for entertainment and educational purposes only. If you wish to learn more about mental health, abusive behaviors, and support, please talk to your primary physician’s office, or a licensed professional.
For emergencies, please call 911, or call 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
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(Special note: This was written back on March 4th of 2024, and forgot about it until 08/19. The update will follow it in this same post.)
It’s one thing to say “I love you” to someone. It’s another to say “I trust you.”
I had the opportunity to say both in the romantic sense to someone recently. The feeling is mutual.
For that to happen, communication was important to each of us. Transparency and boundaries were established and respected for a long time.
Even in the periods when neither of us were in an emotional place to coexist, we grew for ourselves before seeing if we could grow with each other.
Circumstances to move forward are between us, but we’re in a better place to be ourselves. Removed from, but not entirely dismissing labels that mostly serve anyone outside of our circles.
Whatever becomes of this connection, I’m grateful for its debut and progression.
(And now, the update.)
As of July, we’ve become an official couple.It’s really the only thing that has changed outside of how and when we come together.
How it’s being handled speaks well to what privacy we’ve created, while sharing the existence of our union to those we trust.
I’ll write more about that another time, and make sure it’s not sitting in the drafts longer than needed 😉
For now, enjoy the new series I’ve created, running until October.
-Kingston Priest -
There’s a phrase that I’ve heard a few times, that if someone doesn’t like you, check their bank account and see if it’s affected.
I never liked it because it can justify treating others like they’re above judgement and accountability.
As long as that isn’t compromised they have no regrets in stepping on people to maintain whatever status they have. Even the ones they say they love, so long as they don’t blow the whistle on them.
I can even relate it to the mutation of the phrase “the customer is always right in matters of taste.”
The first part of it is often used by people who demand that their needs must always be met. It’s possible so long as they’re the loudest and most silver-tongued person in the room.
Neither types don’t care about any damage they cause so long as they gain the control or income they receive. Even the other phrase, “a fool and their money are soon parted,” doesn’t matter.
Victory is a drug, but so is playing the victim when they don’t get their way or lose it in a private or public space.
At that point, the audience who knows better than to be that way will feel the same as those affected by their behavior. Saying “oh well” to them the way they did to the people they took down to sit on their self-made throne.
Or in deeper cases, their high castle.
-Kingston Priest
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So life has been adventurous these last few weeks. In life, romance, jobs, and in art.
The last one even more thanks to a project I started late last month, titled “The ABC’s of Being a POS.”
As you can tell, this is not far from what I’ve been talking about on here. This is an attempt to be more satirical about toxic behaviors, even at the risk of inspiring certain people to up their game.
It’s also one that I’ve decided to post both on here, and in video format.
The video one is what’s taking the most time because of a mix of perfectionism and readability for those in need of it.
But even in this I’m reminding myself that getting the message out is more important than its presentation.
Doing this feels similar to how most Japanese manga sets the stage for their anime adaptations. Like that example, there will be slight differences between the blog and video versions, but still aiming to drive the main point of the project home.
The blog versions will debut next month. Just in time for the two-year anniversary of the blog, itself. Looking forward to making it happen 🙂
– Kingston Priest
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The past few weeks have been showing many people’s opinion about the bear versus man debate.
If you are not familiar with it, there is video of a man asking random women on the street if they would feel safer with a man or a bear in the forest. With women answering bear, it has sparked a large debate on mostly two sides: the women and femme presenting sharing stories why they would not choose men, and the men whose responses prove why women would choose the bear.
Two bears, in one person’s case.
It’s not to say that there aren’t men who would also choose the bear, and while their reasons can be similar to any woman’s experiences, there are others I have considered.
There are men out here who at several points in their life knew they were the reason the bear was always a safer choice, long before this question started.
Men who, despite their progress in being better people, they are still occasionally haunted by who they were, no matter how long ago they had acted in any way that makes them shudder now.
It is fine to believe that to feel shame for past actions is proof of growth. But we also live in a world where allegations alone have become synonymous with a guilty verdict.
Men healing from their old selves have a right to feel scared about exposure when they consider that. Those who reflect even deeper may fear victims coming forward years later and naming them for what they’ve done. Whatever comes to that may vary, but it should not stop said man from continuing to be better than who they were.
Of course there are those men who do not have a history like that to reflect on, but they still have experienced enough to know how to treat women better. How to be the solution, and not the statistic.
While it’s clear for many that other men dismissing women’s answers and claims should do better, too many societies are not built to define “better” as something worth being for the sake of compassion or even altruism towards others.
As people, it is up to us to not add to anyone’s suffering. But as men, it is up to us to call out the insensitivity towards any woman’s boundaries and history.
Anything less is why the bear deserves to be chosen.
D.F.
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Why do I care?
Why do I care so much about the rights of other people that live differently from me?
People who identify in a way that may contrast one’s outer view of them?
People who are guided by who their heart calls to, no matter how society want to suppress them?
When one’s choices aren’t a threat to another, when a person chooses an identity that is a break from “traditions,” when I am in a place to respect how a person chooses to show up in life the way I wish to be respected, I ask in return…
Why shouldn’t I?
Who am I to tell a stranger, or even someone close to me, who they should be when their choices are not a threat to myself or anyone?
Who am I to support, suggest, or make a law against people whose only crime is that their right to choose hurts those that profit off their distress?
Being an ally to anyone outside of one’s choices takes many forms. Whether it’s by your upbringing, or even choosing to be better than who you were, your presence is appreciated by them.
Just as much as theirs can be by you.
D.F.
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When you feel like you’re not doing enough to show how progressive you are about your present and future, someone or something will remind you without warning. That’s often the best way for me.
I used to be the one that would fish for compliments and adoration so heavily, it became one of the things I had to unlearn.
Yes, I’ve done it in rare times on social media, but what I’ve put out there of myself is my own proof that I’m worthy. Not just of one thing or several, but period.
That’s why it means more when so much as a positive meme comes from a reliable, and safe source. A friend, or family by blood or spirit, and even a romantic partner. Those are among the sources that we can relate to who can support what we’ve come to know is true in our own hearts.
Take any bit of time you can in your day to cheer on someone you care for. Let them know that their progress is being recognized and supported, even from a distance. You never know who needs that, even if they move as if they don’t. We all do.
D.F.
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I shared this image on social media today, and while it can deserve my own follow-up to it, a friend had replied by saying “sad thing is you can’t until you have been shattered.”
It took a moment to write, but I ended up saying the following:
“I see the point about it being sad that you have to go through that first, but look at how many people get shattered and stay that way because they feel that’s either all they deserve.
Some people try to get close and get hurt, and the broken person could care less because misery loves company. They even surround themselves with people that will enabled the laid-out pieces, even celebrating that they are there for a number of twisted reasons.
Then you got the other people that can sweep the pieces up and glue them back together. Sometimes with personal and professional help. The broken art won’t be what it was, but a lot can be learned and shared about the journey of putting it back together. Learning how to make sure the pieces don’t hurt old and new people that want to help you reform, because they see how you are doing it for yourself, and not for clout or attempting to pull someone.
That way you look at the parts that can’t or don’t fit with what’s been restored, and be good with what has and will replace them.”
As of this posting they have not responded yet, but for the most part I feel good about what was said, and just like the rest of this blog, comes from personal accounts. So I guess I am ready to talk with many more people the way the source material suggested.
D.F.
The Brighter the Picture 