Tag: Accountability

End of Days: Election Thoughts

November 4th, 2024

It has been quite a few months leading up to tomorrow.

Anything I say here won’t be enough to cover all of my feelings about.

It’s good, though.

Only because what I could say will only be aligned with what I’ve been writing about for years now. They would just have more focus on key negative traits aligned with tomorrow.

And given my track record on here, I feel more qualified to talk about the social threats and conflicts than the political ones.

Not saying that they aren’t two sides of the same coin, but there are others qualified to weave both together as well as I’ve come to doing for one side.

If anything can be taken from my page, choosing those that project maturity and accountability have been the most important thing for me. Not just in personal connections, but towards public figures.

No matter how tomorrow plays out, I won’t be the only one out here continuing to speak about what many deserve to hear, in spite of what others want us to stay quiet about.

Even with the reminder of that I should only worry about what I can control, I am bracing for impacts.

With all of this said, please be safe out there when voting tomorrow. If you already have, do what you need to do to decompress.

I casted mine two weekends ago, so I will be at work prepping for war while praying for peace. I’m wishing peace for many of us.

Kingston Priest
Freaky Friday: Becoming the Parent You Never Had

April 27th, 2024

At some point in your healing, expect people still in your life to ask you questions that may suggest that they want to do the same. This can include a parent with a history of abuse up to this day.

When they declare that they want to change, you have every right to be hesitant about the claim. Every part of you may want to ignore it and save your energy and time for anyone genuinely ready.

But you do it anyway. That “damned if you do or don’t” feeling will have multiple inspirations. Especially if you know they have a history of telling people, including fellow abusers, about any attempts to heal yourself and others.

At best, the next time you see them, they give off the energy that they may have started to change their habits. It’s one’s right as an abuse survivor to have our heightened senses pick up any development.

At worse, it’s business as usual. You may feel like you wasted your time, and might have given them a blueprint on how and why to double down on their polarizing beliefs.

Time wasn’t wasted.

It’s allowed to hurt when someone you want to fully care for doesn’t make an effort to change, even after they show interest to try. But in that pain lies reasons to continue parenting yourself.

To be the parent that you never had, or will have. To whom it may apply, be the parent to your child that you never had.

D.F.
The Accountant

January 9th, 2023

In the healing process, expect to be reminded of all the things you wish you said at times people hurt you. They can be the mental receipts your mind and body will react to in any moment outside of that event.

You might even think of what you could have done in response. Responses that could result in having a record. If/when you’re caught in a hypothetical sense, that is.

The cynical side of me says that only a few people deserved, or still deserve that. The other side says that you don’t deserve the consequences.

“You’re too pretty for jail,” is one of many mantras of mine.

They may wonder why you stay away. Why you unfollow, unfriend, block their account or phone number. Even if you don’t do any of that, a simple “hello” is best given to people that don’t do the things that have them end up on a particular list.

And if they feel any remorse for what they’ve done, they’ll feel your distance. More so if there was a time where you couldn’t go days or weeks without talking extensively about one thing, or nothing. You’ve found new people to do that with. People that won’t trigger what they’ve done, and possibly still do.

The sting of your absence can even have them sit with the stuff you don’t know that they did, and at that point there’s no need for you to know. You’ve enough evidence to move forward and close the account.

Just make sure you’re also in a place to recognize if or when it’s done to you.

Sometimes you may never know what you did to earn it. If you do know, much like them, you’ll find it hard to speak to them without apologizing for the distant or recent past.

And it can work both ways where, to paraphrase a meme, the offense is forgiven, but access is now denied.

So long as you know that you’re capable of harm that’s worth the cutoff(s), and do your best to not be that person anymore, you’ll do fine.

As my last entry stressed, you’ve been around people like that long enough.
Bless the Child

August 2nd, 2022

Part 2 of 9

(Edited 12/1/2023)

Childhood memories can be interesting. For you, it’s been about the cartoons, a few live-action shows, and visiting one of your cousin’s houses to play video games. All the fun in any arcade you can get into, now in the comfort of your own home. It takes a while before you struggle to call it that, but before we get there, let’s continue the smiles.

Drawing can be fun. You were a fiend for drawing ones of certain fandoms, particularly some half-shelled heroes I wish I could joke about them not surviving the 80s.

The same cousin that brought you into the home console world will remind of you of the days you’d make sound effects with your toys. It’s a thing any kid can do with them, but you’ll see how essential it’ll be to larger creative worlds. Worlds that will unknowingly help you escape the discomforts of reality, in and outside of the so-called home.

There’ also a core memory about marshmallows that may as well have been the catalyst for your sense of humor. It’s one that also gets carried into your siblings, to which their perfection of it enhances yours as well.

It’s helpful in even the most uncomfortable situations. Like the beginnings of a key separation in the family. You were providing enough jokes to drown out the sounds of one’s tears over another’s selfish behavior. But it takes time before you’re all in a place to get away from it for good.

And you’re in a season where you’ve come back, after two years of some level of peace from that place. It’s a volatile time, because the inner child and teen have yet to heal, and the adult has yet to learn how to do it.

This is especially true for those times you feel you failed as an older sibling. Not protecting one from a now-former friend’s “playful” gestures, which earned you the type of reprimand that could have “ended” you, if not cause permanent brain damage.

And not that it’s a complete excuse, but they did not build you to fight back against anyone that hurt you, or the people you love.

That isn’t your fault.

You were mostly raised to believe that acts of oppression are best to bend to, never challenged. That rebellion against the Sociopath Empire is best left to space wizards and Saturday morning cartoon heroes. Why else were you often literally told to “shut up” by people far too hurt by even a hint of truth that you spoke?

But you’ll learn that staying in a child’s place is not a good fit for adults carrying emotional weight. That every realm of artistic expression wasn’t and never will be in vain. All the media that you hold on to are for more than just connecting with people that will soon, or still mean the world to you.

They were part of the reasons you stayed creative. You will still be in a HUGE way. Those worlds allowed you to enter ones safer than the real one, evil creatures considered in most.

But they also kept you alive. A fact that has been and will be challenged often in your later years.

D.F.

Part 1, Part 3

Tag: Accountability

End of Days: Election Thoughts

Freaky Friday: Becoming the Parent You Never Had

The Accountant

Bless the Child