I have a varied list of readers that appear on here and on IG. Some that I personally know in different ways, others I do not.

But this entry will be dedicated to anyone that is a parent, whether it’s by biology, by law, and other means.

I hope that you’re the type of parents that loves your children unconditionally. If they can’t give you anything you ask for, never shame them for it, or hold it against them at some later date. This is an effective way for them to learn how to love others because of your example, and never grow to redefine it in spite of you.

If there’s a reason they are uncomfortable around you, own up to it. Find it within yourselves to correct it and stay in that correction. Your children will keep receipts of your (mis)deeds more accurately than anyone outside the family. And that kind of ink never dries.

Listen to them when they want and need to be seen and heard. Too many shut themselves in around their parents because others want them to speak their mind safely. If you are not a safe space for them, pray they find one that doesn’t lead them to arms bearing more thorns than yours.

If you wish to share your troubles, do so with sincerity. No ulterior motives, no guilt trips, just a pure declaration that you’re willing to understand what you’re going through. They are your children, solely meant to be anything but your emotional punching bags. Pray they don’t learn how to hit back without lifting a finger.

Surely there’s more to say, but it’s enough to let those already doing the healthy thing to agree or add on to. Anyone on the opposite end is in their right to feel differently, just as it’s their children’s right to act accordingly to their feelings towards them.

D.F.