As a lifetime student of love, I’ve been open to leaning and relearning what it means to share that with someone who is doing the same. Someone who, like me, never got to experience talking about what the other did to hurt them, and end in clarity that makes the mutual love even stronger.

Something happened one night with me and my person that had me in an overreactive state of pain. The kind that I eventually got to rationalize a few things to help calm me down, but the anger was still there.

It was days before I expressed my issues to them, and I feared that there would be a reaction similar to other times I spoke my peace on other’s hurtful actions. That I’d be met with deflection, disrespect, and dismissal.

It had happened with (extended) family, friends, and ex-lovers. Part of me felt that my partner, this personified new definition of love, would act the same way.

I was sadly ready for war because of my past of earning nothing but that.

Funny thing about loving someone in a new light that’s different, even brighter than how you used to define it, is that they know how to prove you wrong not by saying “you’re wrong.” They do it by how they act.

They acted with compassion, understanding, while reminding me of things that I even thought about before our talk, yet still felt the need to say something just to get it out of me.

Looking back, I’m glad it was in me. Without it, I’d have lost the chance to know that the hard talks can happen. Primarily with loved ones who have done the work, and are doing it for themselves at the same time that I am.

However long we last as how we are, I’ll remember that night as yet another time where love in any form will surprise me in great ways. It all comes down to who holds that upgraded sense of it, and ready to work through the hard talks as a team, as friends, and as more.

It’s the safe love I’ve always wanted. Through a small few, I always had it. I will maintain it, by any means.

D.F.