I spent a long life dealing with people that would call me outside of my name, often based on appearances. Regardless if they knew my name or not, there was always a level of arrogance, disrespect, and overall ignorance about it.

This goes even harder towards the people that I had spoken to about that, yet they remained comfortable with their labels and add-ons.

It was a long time before I adopted the mindset to let them be who they are, while honoring the same thing in me. Often it’s the healthiest way to let people realize why I don’t engage with them as much as they think I should.

I speak that same type of energy towards you.

Whether it’s your birth name, your new one, nicknames you’ve embraced or outgrown, and especially your pronouns, they deserve to be treated with respect.

If someone is identifying you in a way that no longer speaks to who you are, you have your options. Face them with their behaviors and hope for the best, or leave them in favor of yourself.

This is coming from someone that didn’t always honor that in people, even (former) friends, until I realized how much and how long that was hurting me in return.

Doesn’t matter how different the circumstances are. Pain is pain. In this and other cases, I learned how to stop giving it.

Don’t let someone’s harsh ideas of who they think you are stop you from knowing yourself, and who you’re meant to be. You are the one person that matters in that exchange, and most importantly your life.

D.F.