Tag: Romance

The Long Kiss Goodnight

March 24th, 2023

There’s nothing like that first genuine kiss after a dark time of uncomfortable partners. It feels like you’ve never kissed a person before. Or that even the good ones in the past were prerequisites for the one that holds you as close as you hold them.

It hits more when you’ve grown to accept and change from any time you may have been uncomfortable yourself. That level of self-discovery can heighten your senses on who you desire as a romantic partner, because you learned what you should be to have a lasting one.

You’ll see many people talk down or praise the “hook-up culture” that’s running wild these days. Others, regardless of age, have learned from uncomfortable experiences how that life isn’t for them.

They want someone to reflect their emotional goals.

A partner that refuses to deviate from their overall goals.

Someone to not reflect trauma bonds.

Someone whose body, mind, and soul was waiting for you to level up and arrive at the right time, and vice versa.

If you so desire that person* for you, and you’re already on the path of self-healing, trust me when I say the wait it worth it.

Whether or not it’s unplanned, you two will know that your 100th kiss will feel as wonderful and safe as the first one was.

You’ve always deserved it.

D.F.

*or people, within specific consensual arrangements.
Ghost

March 6th, 2023

(Updated 11/26/2023)

Have you even had your heart broken by someone with mutual romantic, even intimate interest, yet never gone past the “talking” stage? Or if you’ve gone a little further than that and still be left in the cold?

This can happen in platonic friendships, too, but understanding why can come from different areas.

You may have done something to alter their view of you, and they may not be in a place to tell you what you did wrong. They may even think you’re not in a place to hear you’re doing or have done wrong.

Or they’re the type of person who prefers to let silence be their mark of separation. It’s a choice that’s justified and effective. If they come back, it may or may not include why they left, and by that point, you may have outgrown a need for their presence.

Of course, you can’t rule out some being outright petty and off-putting. Discarding you for reasons that fuel an ego that clashes with any part of you. More if you’ve grown to be more emotionally stable, mature, and growing away from trauma you may have told them about in confidence.

You just can’t tell. If you’re not meant to know, so be it.

As a meme once stated, “if someone ghosts you, respect the dead and move on.” Chances are I’ve quoted this in my blog before, but it bears repeating right here.

And don’t be surprised if you cherish any memories you had with the long-gone people. Don’t let their absence haunt you into believing better memories won’t come with people meant to be around you.

You deserve to think better about yourself, and be around those that feel the same.

D.F
Sparks

March 1st, 2023

(Title themes return to movies and tv)

You never know when things will hit off with someone. For some, it can get right to the point of atavism, whether it’s a one-nighter or several that all amount to no strings.

Others take their time with platonic friendships that grow into something more. It can be for a short, or a long-term period, with various ways of ending or “pausing” for reasons.

Then there’s the hybrid. The ones that start as a fling, but turn into more with each time spent together. The physical intimacy can be fantastic, but the emotional one beats that by a wider margin.

Relationships of all origin styles create a solid template of what you value the most in your overall circles. If you’ve learned that you attract or are attracted to certain types of people, it doesn’t take much to figure out if they’re worth keeping around.

When they’re cut, they leave room for the better connections. Keep in mind that even the new ones can be Trojan Horses for quiz retakes on boundaries and green flags.

As long as you hold on to the lessons, you won’t attract people that make you repeat them. Especially in romance.

D.F.
Solo

February 13th, 2023

It’s been a long time since I have dated someone exclusively. There were a surprising amount of dates, more than I even could have expected as I entered my healing saga.

But even as some stand on varied levels of friendship, and another I completely dismissed, I knew something. As uncomfortable being by myself is on a romantic level, this is also the time I needed to get other things in order.

For a long time, even with signs of attraction from others and more, I convinced myself that nothing solid would come my way during that developmental period.

Someone pleasantly proved me wrong, but I’ll leave it at that.

There’s always that time many go through where they are alone in the romantic realm. Not all of us can reframe it as one to develop and let the surprises come naturally. It’s harder when there are those of mutual interest who are states, or even time zones away from each other. But love always makes things work at the right time.

D.F.
Waves

February 1st, 2023

Romantic emotions aren’t for everyone, and that’s okay. There are times when we have to remind ourselves of the other forms of love that exist and are expressed in a platonic form.

If you’ve of a certain audience of the internet, you’ve likely seen the list of love languages. if not, give this a look.

I’ve experienced them all in different ways, as a giver and receiver. Many lessons were learned in those times, like how not to confuse any of those languages as romantic or especially sexual attraction. The latter one can get you hurt worse, but let me not dive too deep in there.

For me, I enjoy that I’m in a place where I know what love can and should be, versus how others will weaponize it for their own means. That can make, and has made many believe that love should be conditional.

Without breaking that habit, you risk attaching to people that will continuously warp your reality. Breaking it isn’t meant for everyone, but for those that do it, they may experience emotional rollercoasters.

It’s plural because not all of them are built the same. Just like us.

But the people, or special person, that you meet during the rides are ones you want to stay attached to when they’re back to the platform.

People you’ve shared an amazing amount of laughs with.

Ones you’ll chill or cuddle with, as cross your fingers hoping they like your film choice.

Or even count a work-related event as a romantic date.

They’re worth all the rocky surfaces, rickety tracks, and rough waters that lead to reform your definition of love.

D.F.
Love Jones

August 29th, 2022

Love has become such a weaponized emotion that when someone experiences it outside of ego, they refused to go back to being submissive and quiet about their pain.

No matter who their audiences in expressing that, all that matters is that they’re free to spread love to inspire others to do the same.
Love, Actually

August 23rd, 2022

For those that believe in real world romance, it can be quite an adventure.

There are romantic relationships that, in hindsight, were better off as friendships, even become friends afterwards. You have some friendships that lead to romantic connections.

Then you have the romantic interests that turn into the greatest friendships you could ever ask for. You may even find a romantic link because of them.

But there could be a part of you that still wants that friend. Keep that in check, figure out why you think that way. That can get deep, even relative to any trauma bonds, but you may learn it’s better to recognize the traits you find attractive, which reflect your blueprint for your ideal partner.

Don’t let your ego force that friendship into something that it’s probably not meant to be, either in its season or at all.

There’s beauty in the patience, and wonderful power in the surprise.