Edited 10/26/22, 12/1/2023
Author Note: This entry was the first of a 9-part series that inspired the current run, so it will read differently from the entries after it, but all serve their intended purpose. Feel free to scroll down for the most recent entries.

You and I haven’t met yet, but I know you all too well. I know that sounds cryptic, but that’s something you’ll have to get used to throughout this message.

It’s going to be a long one, so I’ll do my best to keep your attention. After all, I’m speaking to the part of me that didn’t have their attention span altered by the outside world.

But there it is. I’m you.

At least, a version of you that is still processing what you’ve gone through, and fearing what’s coming, yet it’s what I’ve seen. I won’t say how far in the future I’m speaking from. But it’s going to take time that you’ll need to get to where I’m at, so I can write this to you.

So, one thing that’s fair to ask is…why?

There’s an idea that’s existed for years. Where you write to your past self and let them know you’ve made it. Where you’ve ‘made it’ can vary with each person, but between us, you’ve made it to a point where all those troubling thoughts can finally transform into words. Coherent ones that stick with you for a long time, all to let you know that you’ll be okay. And that’s putting it lightly.

Another thing you’re probably asking is…can you trust me?

You’ve gone through a lot of reasons to be paranoid at everyone and anything that’s been around, and brand new. Most have hurt you in ways you wish you could express, but you’re not in enough control yet. You still have a few things to risk punching holes in or through before you get that far.

And even then, you’ll have those moments resurface. After all, it’s all part of the healing process. But none of these answers your question. So, the best answer I can give is… that I hope you do.

Last, you’ll demand proof.

Which is fair, because you remember a time where a so-called friend stood at your doorstep to claim that they knew you better than you know yourself. Which, considering that moment was back in high school, the time where any teenager thinks they know it all, that person may have been right. But they came from a broken home just like you, and you were an easy target for their insecurity. Sadly, you’ll feel some people bred you to be one, and it’ll make you want to fight anyone responsible. Two people, specifically, but we’ll get to them later.

And in case you want more proof, let’s dig into an occasional safe space: entertainment.

There was a cartoon that was way ahead of its time. It had themes that were mature enough for older viewers, but done so that the “wee lads” like us could watch enough to beg our parents for related merch.

But there’s one line from the show that has proven to be of greater value. One that you’ll keep with you for years. But won’t truly feel its weight until you grow into your true self.

“All men have something to hide. The brighter the picture, the darker the negative.”

• D.F.

AN: The additional entries are best read in the following order:
Bless the Child
The Dark Half
The Big Hit
Squad
Beauty and the Beast
Gemini Man
PS, I Love You
The Neverending Story