Last Saturday, August 1st, was the four-year anniversary of this page, and I meant to say something even then.

So, I’m going to make up for it right here by first asking myself a question:

What do I have to show for it?

Given that this October will be 10 years since I first went to any counseling, and still seeing the one that I first met back in 2021, more was done within the past 4 years than I ever could have expected.

In no particular order:

Created my first web series in over a decade that doubles as proof that I may have been quiet, but always paid attention to the toxicity around me, and in me.

Learned emotional regulation that never would have been taught from anyone that proved they were above that.

Completed a Harvard course that made me a better writer, and proved to myself how passionate of a student I can still be. 

Gained respect for asking serious questions towards snap behaviors that I inspired, but may never know the reasons I did.

Helped others understand their own emotions without jeers or deflection that reflected my history of receiving those reactions.

Found better safety in digging deeper into myself, learning more of why other’s instability triggers my own.

Relearned hard lessons on the benefits of a slow burn connection, and to never ignore the red flags waving within them.

Acknowledged the red flags that I also waved, falsely looking at them with red tinted glasses like I did with the others.

And, among other notable facts, most of all…

Successfully recorded a minute and thirty-eight seconds of proof that I was never the crazy one. It’s the most damming of the collection, anyway.

I know this looks similar to highlights on a resume, but too often this is labeled as “doing the work,” so it fits.

It’s going to be interesting to see how certain people or groups will take the news that I’ve been doing this in plain sight for so long. While a handful have done it while I managed the page, it clearly didn’t stop me.

Meanwhile, others will only be able to do so much at the risk of exposing themselves as the inspiration for the inner work that couldn’t stay in forever.

And as much as I’d love the chance to have my experiences lead to a lasting and satisfying career, that’s going to take more than just knowing the right people and submitting the perfect CV.

It’s going to take me putting reclaimed time into sharing details of those mock bullet points.

It’s going to take not getting in my own way any more than I already have.

It’s even going to take reminders that I can still have the type of fun that I’ve been having in-between and during these lessons.

Because it takes a bold and artistic mind to legally fight the way I was meant to. And even with the many that I know that have turned their pain into passion and purpose, no one is going to do it the way I have, and will continue to.

Welcome back, me. That’s going to be some interesting stories to tell tell, just like before.

Kingston Priest