They probably aren’t talking to you right now because they are tired.

Not just of what s going on in their own lives.

Not because they forgot how to use a phone outside of other contacts.

They probably aren’t talking to you because of you.

Not that they haven’t tried to talk to you about how you’ve shown up. Or how you’ve needed to show up for yourself, even when you ask for their advice.

But if you have shown more interest in not taking their words to heart, to pretend to show a will to change, or even habitual backsliding, they’re allowed to be tired.

They are allowed to spend energy and time around people that aren’t performative about compassion and accountability. Even if there have been times where that was genuine from you, and they can tell it.

Yet there’s still that underlying anxiety that your genuine care is just another run for waivers into the Screen Actor’s Guild.

They’re tired of you not wanting to be called out on something that inspires a deflection into another topic, or reversing it to make them a villain. Because you know how a hero and/or victim deserves all the sympathy and empathy that you may have denied others.

Can you also celebrate their personal wins without angst for them not celebrating your existence in their life?

Without digging at them for something else just to knock them off their well earned pedastal?

Without them clapping on command for you doing the bare minimum when necessary? Without trying to make yourself look good in their spotlight?

You might even be reading this now and coming up with a defense case and counterpoints to maintain a status quo that fits your reality, while trying to beat an individual or class action suit, hoping that the judge dismisses the case.

They won’t. Especially when the judge happens to be the tired party.

And let’s also consider their fatigue for times where they’ve told you things in confidence, only to learn that it’s become gossip to other parties. Anything to make you look important or powerful in knowledge, but it makes you desperate for attention, and even weak about building your own character.

Are you tired of hearing the reasons they may be tired of you? The list of reasons can be longer.

Try to imagine how they feel. If it hurts to do that, then it’s a start to sit with that pain.

Dig into who it may remind you of that did the same to you. Let it inspire actual change, and not reenact another’s response to trauma, hoping you can eventually thank the Academy.

The only reward you should be working towards is being the person they had to be for themselves, if not find in others, because they lost hope that it would exist in you.

And even if you make the change, it doesn’t always guarantee that you’ll be back in their good graces.

It can just mean that you’ve finally learned how to not let others join in on the fatigue, and appreciate you for waking up to yourself.

– Kingston Priest