Here are few examples that I’ve lived through.

There was a side topic I overheard at a party regarding spotted lantern flies destroying crops in most of New Jersey, one season, and how there were full rallies about culling them to save the crops. During the talk, one of the men of the group shouted in jest that “flies lives matter,” which rang  uncomfortable echoes of “Black Lives Matter.”

Another involved a live group chat, where the white host had expressed his disgust about people’s opinion towards a tiktok duet that he made with me, using the word “woke” in the way that has been turned it into a diet version of black slurs. The live feed was interrupted before anything could be said about it.  

There was another time prior to both of those examples, through with a different group, where another white male stated the following. “Rock music: invented by blacks, perfect by whites.” It got a huge round of applause and laughter from everyone but me, the Spot, who risked a lot expressing anger that will be brought up later.     

While there are plenty more examples I can draw from, for now, let’s look at the outsider’s view of the Spot.

To most black folk that view them from the outside, there can be immediate judgement that they are the “Oreo,” a sell-out, or worse, the “coon” of the group.

But that judgement can also be made from the whites within said group. Statements like “you’re the whitest black person I know” can come with a condescending tone and laughter from one side, while another can state that with sheer disgust and betrayal.

Either side will have its reasons to say it to their intended target. The Spot can be talked down for listening to one rock song by a white artist, and the “court of public opinion” may not acknowledge the black roots of the genre. Or hopefully do so without mirroring the example I spoke of earlier.

Spot can have romantic interests outside their race, specifically white, and the same court of public opinion refuses to see how love can and has existed throughout all races. They can exist without a hint of exotification, and without the threat of adding to historic tragedies related to mixed race events, be they romantic, platonic, etc.

Personal experiences tied to that last part have varied. One former connection would often parade his black wife’s presence online by stating that she was black, as if it was needed for those with eyes.

Another had a time where he saw a black woman grocery shopping at his old job and finally saw any of them as being only worth sleeping with, despite the closet racism within most of his own family, and allegedly in himself. He then had the nerve to ask me if I could ask my then-black girlfriend if she could hook him up with one of her friends. In short, it didn’t happen.     

Link to Part 1
Next: Part 3