The following series is for entertainment and educational purposes, only.

You can learn a lot from being the “spot in a cup of milk.”

While I have a vague idea who first told me that phrase, I was quick enough to know what it meant in the context it was given in.

Being the spot in a cup of milk referred to being the sole black person in a group of white people.

It is something that I have had a long history of being. Rarely will there be a group that doesn’t reveal any red flags about it. But I’ve seen enough to speak on what will not be every black or PGM’s experience but know there’s enough of us that can relate and won’t get into those situations ever again, if it can be helped.

On the flip side, there will be white folk that will read or eventually listen to this that may feel exposed and defensive, with a “my best friend/partner/family member is black” statement loaded in the chamber.

Some who personally know me will even come out with the “how dare you” or “after all we’ve been through” lines, especially halfway through this.

All I can say to them is…proceed. This won’t be as gloves-on or colorful as my last mini-series was, but plenty of that is aligned with what will be talked about, here.

With all of that out the way, here’s what can be said about the Spot, both in my experience, and in observation.   

If they are not careful, the Spot will miss the micro and passive aggression about their race, and even their physical appearance tied to it, while within these circles. Comments about playing specific types of sports, assumptions that you have a criminal record, sexual activity, and more.

Their intelligence will be undermined or brought into question, usually in a causal way to make them think that this is a friendly discussion, versus a show of authority and even superiority. It doesn’t matter what the topic is. The “great white shark” of the group will circle its prey before they know when to take a bite out their dark meat.

The Spot can chime into a conversation and be welcomed into it, so long as they don’t bring up any black perspectives surrounding it. Like before, the topic doesn’t matter. It can be something fun, geeky, or universally beloved with all races, there can or will be the risk of triggering discomfort from their white counterparts if you even hint a black connection to the topic.  

And those white spaces may allow “a black” into their mix, so long as they aren’t called out on any statements that can imply comfort in bigotry and racism.

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Link to Part 2, premiering tomorrow.