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The ABC’s of being a POS: Intro
(Edited 08/09/2024)
Note: This upcoming series is for entertainment and educational purposes only. If you wish to learn more about mental health, abusive behaviors, and support, please talk to your primary physician’s office, or a licensed professional.
For emergencies, please call 911, or call 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
Life is full of a healthy balance of people that deserve hugs or suplexes.
Sometimes both.
There’s a long list of examples of these people in both the past and present, public or private figures, and all types of relationships.
No matter what, the world has its shares of people that deserve attention as much as the others need to be starved from it.
This is dedicated to the second half.
By now you’ve assumed that the POS in the title does NOT mean “point of sale.” It means the other thing.
The one that made you think of a person or people who could understand physical actions more than a sentence about their behavior.
And even though one word or phrase will sometimes be used for each letter, they are not limited to them.
Consider each one a gateway into others that, like the ones chosen here, are tied to each other, and will be mentioned and even repeated within most of them.
So, if you or someone you know is a POS, and you’re looking for how to increase your villain potential, you’ve come to the wrong place.
After all, what better way to talk about the tricks and tips in ways that match your actions towards your targets/marks?
No matter what, remember this quote as this journey begins:
“If it hurts you, it’s about you.”
-Kingston Priest
P.S. – It is understood that there are those with undiagnosed or misdiagnosed mental conditions which will have similar behaviors mentioned here. This is in no way meant to offend them, or their related parties. This project is dedicated to those who choose to behave certain ways that deserve to be spoken about.
First: Animosity
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“Freestyle Day”
There’s a phrase that I’ve heard a few times, that if someone doesn’t like you, check their bank account and see if it’s affected.
I never liked it because it can justify treating others like they’re above judgement and accountability.
As long as that isn’t compromised they have no regrets in stepping on people to maintain whatever status they have. Even the ones they say they love, so long as they don’t blow the whistle on them.
I can even relate it to the mutation of the phrase “the customer is always right in matters of taste.”
The first part of it is often used by people who demand that their needs must always be met. It’s possible so long as they’re the loudest and most silver-tongued person in the room.
Neither types don’t care about any damage they cause so long as they gain the control or income they receive. Even the other phrase, “a fool and their money are soon parted,” doesn’t matter.
Victory is a drug, but so is playing the victim when they don’t get their way or lose it in a private or public space.
At that point, the audience who knows better than to be that way will feel the same as those affected by their behavior. Saying “oh well” to them the way they did to the people they took down to sit on their self-made throne.
Or in deeper cases, their high castle.
-Kingston Priest
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Overdue Update and New Project Announcement
So life has been adventurous these last few weeks. In life, romance, jobs, and in art.
The last one even more thanks to a project I started late last month, titled “The ABC’s of Being a POS.”
As you can tell, this is not far from what I’ve been talking about on here. This is an attempt to be more satirical about toxic behaviors, even at the risk of inspiring certain people to up their game.
It’s also one that I’ve decided to post both on here, and in video format.
The video one is what’s taking the most time because of a mix of perfectionism and readability for those in need of it.
But even in this I’m reminding myself that getting the message out is more important than its presentation.
Doing this feels similar to how most Japanese manga sets the stage for their anime adaptations. Like that example, there will be slight differences between the blog and video versions, but still aiming to drive the main point of the project home.
The blog versions will debut next month. Just in time for the two-year anniversary of the blog, itself. Looking forward to making it happen 🙂
– Kingston Priest
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The Cut: Being At Peace with the Formerly Close
I saw this post and it made me think about the history I have with people I’m still connected with, and how some deserve to remain at arm’s length anymore.
It also sparks memories of people who earned a permanent cutoff, especially ones before my mental health journey truly began.
You can only trust people for so long before you either cut them off or limit their access to you while limiting your interest in them.
Depending on the circumstances, anyone that does this will have a reason to want payback for what others have done to them.
Some things are allowed to be that unforgivable.
But this photo speaks well to a side of me that would rather wish someone well over wishing them harm. There is little comfort in hoping they feel the same pain they caused me being placed on them.
Has it been fun to think about? Countless times yes. But it can be healthier to let go of the person or people and, as it says, wish them the best.
The solid boundary you create for yourself deserves more care and respect than most people are willing to give you.
Of course, how they choose to show up for you or speak to you will determine one of three paths: Continuing, yielding, or stopping.
Whether there are equal amounts of peace in cutting ties and making limits, or greater weight in one over another, your feelings are valid in any choice.
– Kingston Priest
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Office Space: Readjusting to the Old Work Habits
After a year and two months of working remotely for my current employer, we’ve been asked to return to the office full time. We were given a few week to prep, and honestly, I’ve been okay with it.
As of this writing, I’ve only been there for my full shift for one day. It was nice to see faces that I’ve only known voices of for as long as I have. Also good to know that the dress code is loose.
Like, manager wearing a shirt tied to a popular game series loose. Not that I’m going in with what few I have, but the option is nice to have.
The biggest takeaway is that the space I made for the job in my room is mine, again. It can still be considered a work space, just all for me.
Even with word that I could keep some of my equipment here in a case of working overtime, I have to roll my eyes and ask “why bother?”
There are benefits of working remotely for sure. I’ve capitalized on plenty of healthy ones since I warmed up to the then-new groove. What matters now is that I keep up with them, and not reconsider discouragement in things like limited prep time and privacy.
Too often we have to make adjustments for reasons that might feel like an inconvenience at first, but the time we’ve made before them can determine how we can approach the changes.
It’s not a great look to say “now I can’t do…” something that was in your heart to do when there was time to do it. That was something I was guilty of too often, and could still be.
There is still time to draw, to write on here, prioritize fitness, continuing education, and more. Wanting it and acting on it months in advance is proof to myself that I’m using my time wisely.
That goes double for resting from all of it when I know I need to.
Good thing we’re off on the 4th, then 😉
– Kingston Priest
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Control: Letting Go of Being a Leader
Have you ever felt the need to command the lead a situation that requires even minimal group input?
Like you’ll have an idea that’s so mind-blowing for yourself that you think no one will challenge it. They’ll see you as some kind of hero for saying what others allegedly failed to think of.
Until you’re proven wrong and even other group members go along with another more reasonable plan.
I’m here to say that it’s okay to not always be in control.
The entire point of being in a group of trusted people, or even with one person, is to be open to new ideas, even modifications to ones that you’ve presented.
Even if you don’t have anything to comment on in the moment with them, that doesn’t mean your presence in the group is small. It also doesn’t mean your opinions are invaluable.
Take the mental notes, be in a place to accept that you’re allowed to be corrected or adjusted, just as others hopefully are as well. This is especially true when you’re officially the head of something.
You’d be surprised who respects you more for being flexible and willing to save the day with you, and not in front of you, or you them.
- Kingston Priest
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Borderline: Protecting Yourself from Disrespect
If someone does not respect you because of your progressive views or ways of healing from periods of abuse and trauma, they’ve made their choice to see you in a place that’s beneath them, and far from who you are and who you’re becoming.
This behavior is easy to find online from strangers, but can often come much deeper from family by blood, law, or choice.
Some of them may already have a history of not wanting to be held accountable for anything, so they’ll likely see your views as a counterpoint to their own, and will do their best to shame you for them.
This is your proof that you’re on the right path. Your heart, your soul, your belief in compassion for others means more than someone’s idea of respect that they’ll only give so long as you meet their terms based on their disrespect towards others including yourself.
Respect yourself over them, and keep your space protected.
– Kingston Priest
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Attention, Attention: The Different Types of Wants and Needs
Someone wanting and needing things from you can take a lot of forms.
On the positive, they need you to continue doing what’s best for you without a hidden agenda that favors their needs. The same people want you to stay focused on your goals beyond anyone else’s.
On the other hand, others will tell you that you need to do something or be somewhere that favors their habits, even addictions. They also want or even demand things from you, otherwise face their abusive wrath.
This second group will drill this into you without remorse. As long as you believe in their wants and needs over your own, their version of respect and love is satisfied, despite respect being one-sided and love being contractual.
That’s why the first group is important. The ones that see you doing work that speaks to a version of you who needs a life away from the other group, and wants people you love to believe in themselves enough to do the same.
Your wants and needs are more important than the ones who want and need your attention, your finances, and servitude.
Kingston Priest
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Awareness: An Open Self Check-In
Sometimes all it takes is another video addressing it being Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month to give someone like me pause in anything else I was doing.
The short answer I gave is that every day is a constant dance between glimmers and triggers in my life. Sometimes the triggers win a bit more, but nowhere near making a permanent choice you can’t come back from.
Not anymore, anyway.
There are a series of changes that will be coming to my own work environment soon, which tie into several things that I have control of. The other ones that I don’t yet part of me thinks I should, that sticks sometimes.
It’s gone as far as thinking to my current class and whether I’m taking it as a distraction from coming back to writing like I used to? I’ve confirmed that each has their time and place that I can give them, because I deserve the down time.
I am filled with reminders of how I have become more aware of my highs and lows.
My drives and commitments.
My energy and who deserves it.
So there will be lulls in writing as there have been in recent months. But I love that after coming here for over a year when I can’t speak to a professional or a trusted friend until a certain time, I have this.
An open record of proof that that I’m doing and have done my best, and will only go up from here.
- Kingston Priest
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Evolution: The Changes Since the Journey Began
I love what I’ve done on this page. I know that if I can steady my mind long enough, I will be right back to it. I am not without topics to visit and revisit.
I did start writing a long piece that is still being edited, with the topic of “can a toxic person change?” I have multiple answers to that.
Aside from that, it’s become harder to be as consistent as I used to be on here because I start asking myself questions like “does anyone care what I have to say (anymore)?” “Should I be mad that this hasn’t been discovered, considering my lengths to remain ‘private’?”
Then I tell myself that I didn’t start it to be discovered. I started it because I wanted to discover myself. Some type of proof that the inner work was starting, and now evolved into something beyond what I saw in myself.
There’s also the fact that where I was when I started the page isn’t where I am now. Physically, I’m in the same place that inspired a great deal of hard topics, but I have to look at the positives that came during it.
I was unemployed when this started, so I had time in-between stressing over it, and more.
Now I’m over a year into my position. I earned two certificates related to sociology and human behavior, with a third one in mind that, like the others, can lead to a new career, or enhance my status with this job.
Fitness has also been a focus. I’ve done a few virtual yoga sessions before starting the classes, and now spending time at a local gym when I can with a focus on cardio.
And though relationship statuses are not officially changed yet, I have found romantic love again. Logistics are a hurdle among other things, but it’s okay. Sometimes who you share that love with is more about who and where you are emotionally and/or spiritually, not just by physical distance.
And I’ve chosen a new pen name to go by. Something that’s a blend of two worlds I’ve lived and live in. Sort of a Yin and Yang vibe going on. The few people that know me outside of this might understand it, but I’ll explain for others later.
So all of that is proof there’s plenty to discuss when I can anchor myself long enough to share what I can.
The blog began as a way to heal in places I knew needed regulation, and others I did not know of or even avoided as it continued. Now it’s a place to confirm that it’s worked, and still working.
And it’s far from over.
– Kingston Priest
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