The Brighter the Picture

  • The ABC’s of being a POS: Intro

    The ABC’s of being a POS: Intro

    (Edited 08/09/2024)

    Note: This upcoming series is for entertainment and educational purposes only. If you wish to learn more about mental health, abusive behaviors, and support, please talk to your primary physician’s office, or a licensed professional.

    For emergencies, please call 911, or call 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

    Life is full of a healthy balance of people that deserve hugs or suplexes.

    Sometimes both.

    There’s a long list of examples of these people in both the past and present, public or private figures, and all types of relationships.

    No matter what, the world has its shares of people that deserve attention as much as the others need to be starved from it.

    This is dedicated to the second half.  

    By now you’ve assumed that the POS in the title does NOT mean “point of sale.” It means the other thing.

    The one that made you think of a person or people who could understand physical actions more than a sentence about their behavior.

    And even though one word or phrase will sometimes be used for each letter, they are not limited to them.

    Consider each one a gateway into others that, like the ones chosen here, are tied to each other, and will be mentioned and even repeated within most of them.  

    So, if you or someone you know is a POS, and you’re looking for how to increase your villain potential, you’ve come to the wrong place.

    After all, what better way to talk about the tricks and tips in ways that match your actions towards your targets/marks?

    No matter what, remember this quote as this journey begins:

    “If it hurts you, it’s about you.”

    -Kingston Priest

    P.S. – It is understood that there are those with undiagnosed or misdiagnosed mental conditions which will have similar behaviors mentioned here. This is in no way meant to offend them, or their related parties. This project is dedicated to those who choose to behave certain ways that deserve to be spoken about.

    First: Animosity

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  • Live and Become

    CW: Violence, DV, s*icide

    “Multiverse” has become a mainstream word in recent years. Lifelong nerds, geeks, and the like such as myself have known of it longer, some even writing and publishing stories based on what they would be like under creative circumstances.

    Sometimes my mind goes to that place because it’s interesting how one simple change could cause events to spin a different direction. Events that I’ve caused, could have caused, or ones where I was the legitimate victim.

    Moments where I felt insulted and didn’t resort to violence, both on my door step and in social gatherings. Or where I should have walked away instead of staying and risk taking more.

    Others where adults could have been more responsible and not risk my health in the long term. Or where one specific punishment came in the form of being hit in the head with something that could have damaged me, or worse.

    Moments where I could have released my anger on anyone that repeatedly hurt me without remorse, finishing what others started. Or not waste my time and put it towards myself, even going all the way to stop feeling the pain.

    And others where I was not the greatest friend, family member, love interest, or lover.

    Regardless of being a child or even young adult at most times, there’s a lot to look back on. Much of it I wondered what I could have done to prevent some of them from happening, while others are lessons on how you treat others when health and even lives are on the line.

    Some stories are worth sharing or implying as part of sharing what was learned, while others deserve to be taken to the grave.

    That’s a daily thought pattern, even in examples I didn’t give. All that matters now is that in this reality, I continue to prove to myself that any old mistakes will not be repeated. Any societal and domestic abuse will not be passed on or tolerated. And any (self-)destructive ideas can still be channeled into creative energy.

    Maybe that’s the other reason I started this blog and didn’t fully channel it until now.

    D.F.

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  • The Flip Side

    Imagine being the kind of person that leaves a toxic relationship, only to mimic the toxic traits that were set on you.

    You would do and say anything and everything to make sure others close to you bend to your will and never question you, even indirectly.

    Hearing about one’s needs for themselves, or for you to change your bad habits, only to turn on fake tears with a quiver in your voice, coming as fast as putting the middle finger into their face.

    If you have kids together, and one or more of them aren’t there for you under any circumstances, you may contact the ex to pull said child(ren) back to your direction. And you’ll win, because you might even have dirt on the ex’s name.

    The list can go on, but if you so much as twitched at any of these, then you’re on the right path to keep away from them, and not becoming like them. Putting the effort into changing yourself because they won’t change.

    As one quote that I saw goes, “you can’t make peace with someone who has war in their heart.”

    No matter how they mock or shame you for breaking their norm, hold the line. They may pull some unbelievable methods to justify payback, but they’ll burnout sooner than you. Because your defense is fortified by progression.

    And it’s best to leave them knowing that what you’ve become is what they’ve rejected to be.

    D.F.

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  • The Client

    Over a month ago, the idea of homeownership came to me from a bank rep. This caused some interest in asking the right people for advice and resources to make this possible, even for me still fresh into a new job.

    One of these times involved a friend I made years ago during volunteer work. They now work in the industry and has made significant life changes that had them glowing in a relatable way.

    There were multiple points they made that I couldn’t help but feel paralleled to my mental health (MH) journey. I’ll cover the biggest one first.

    Late into the meeting, I stated how I had been asking people, including them, that could be trusted with about my homeowner education. They agreed, and said to “let their hindsight be your foresight.”

    I connected to that very well when it came to the hours of videos, podcasts, and reading articles of people’s personal stories on overcoming trauma and learn what healing methods were right for me.

    They loved the parallel, as well.

    Housing and even apartment potential included, I have loved how things seemed to come along at the right time in my life that are tied to what I’ve discovered, even rediscovered in the MH space.

    I may still feel that I’m “late” in the game towards so many things others have worked for in their lives, but there is still such a thing as being “right on time” for those meant to be there as the cheerleaders, classmates, teachers, and lessons.

    D.F.

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  • Chill Factor

    The last couple of years of learning the different examples of narcissism are almost mind numbing. Every time I think I’ve experienced them all, I see something new come up that updates the strategy guide and their lore.

    It’s easy to say that what I’ve experienced lines up with what I’ve learned about, but sometimes it gets exhausting to keep up with it all. Almost as exhausting as existing with people that inspired my education.

    Keeping up with narcissists and the like is unhealthy. Sleep patterns and eating habits get affected, the need for social interaction may decrease or increase to troubling levels, and other damaging side effects.

    So when those days come where the body is telling you to rest, don’t challenge it. That can also be because of a combination of any physical exercises that you’re willingly managing to better your health. It all counts to the necessary rest.

    Part of you may hope that the “narcs” around you will understand that you need(ed) your own time, but you’ve given them enough thought. Often by them forcing it on you.

    That’s why the rest is needed.

    And if they’re not willing to give it you, you’re all in your right to take it.

    D.F.




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  • Nothing but Trouble

    (Edited 11/28/2023)

    It’s hard to look back at the times you’ve felt like you were a “trauma dump” to people you cared for, and may have cared for you.

    It’s harder when you see who left you because most of your time with them involved the seemingly endless venting, often about the same topics.

    Not everyone is built for those talks, even on a small level. That’s why even when you want to reach out concerning good news, their inner alarms may go off. That “oh no, are they gonna’ go on about [insert topic] again” feeling.

    Even when you’ve built a reputation for it, you’re allowed to have them with people, too. It takes a certain level of awareness to even know that why you’re avoiding them is why others avoid you.

    It’s okay to feel sad if they’ve chosen to (quietly) cut ties. You may have had some great moments that had nothing to do with sharing pains, to the point of repetition. And arguably worse, not acknowledging their own trials.

    For the ones that remain close to you, check in on them about their lives. Actively listen to them the way you want them to listen to you. That way, the moments of not sharing emotional scars will be drowned by mutual laughter.

    And other joyous things if you’re that close. 😉

    D.F.

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  • “Coming Soon”

    (Edit: 6/19/2023 – Having a change of plans with this idea. More will be said in an upcoming post that I will hyperlink here when it’s time.)

    When this blog began, it started as a series of letters to my younger self. Much has been said since those nine entries ended, and between the time I wrote this post in May, and when this will be posted, more will be written.

    For the one year anniversary in August, I’ve decided to flip things around.

    Letters dedicated to the people that are, or were in my life that got me here. The good, bad, everything I can manage to write about.

    It’s inspired by something I used to do but lost track of, where you write physical letters to someone that will never be sent to them. Mostly because you’re supposed to destroy them, and I’m not sure if I ever did.

    And I have a LOT of notebooks.

    That aside, I don’t know yet how many entries I’ll have for it. But I like the idea enough to make it as limited as the first “arc” was. Whether it’ll be as freeing as that one was is yet to be seen, but I’ll be glad to have done it no matter what.

    To be continued…. 🙂

  • For Your Eyes Only

    (Edited 11/28/2023)

    For the first time since starting the blog, I wrote an entry simply for myself.

    It’s a more unfiltered venting about things that have been on my mind, and have shared to some level throughout many posts. It’s like what happened with a previous entry weeks ago, only not caring for grammar regulation.

    Sometimes that’s what’s needed. That need to get stuff out of you that doesn’t need to be dressed up formally for anyone. Even that private entry is a reminder of how I can’t go most days without cussing about something or someone.

    But you need those times where you have to release things at the rawest level, or close enough to it without taking it out on your device of choice.

    It’s as freeing as the other public entries were and are, even though I’ll admit they’re watered down from what else I could say. But I know where the inspiration of those kinds of voices comes from.

    I’ve done my best not to mimic them again already. Soon enough, the personal inspirations will know how and why.

    One other thing I did like about it is that I can return to it and pick parts out for more separate entries. I even mention that in there, towards the cooldown point of my wall of ranting.

    Whenever the next one happens, I’ll have this first one to thank for reminding me how I’m not without the choice of private outlets that tie into the public ones.

    Until then, let the water be drank, workouts be done, and meds taken.

    And clocking into work. Yeah, that’s important, too 🙂

    D.F.

  • Forgiveness

    (Originally written April, 2023, edited 11/28/2023)

    Forgiveness is a word thrown around in ways that favor a person’s boundaries, and another person’s need to have their own faults forgiven.

    With the first group, we forgive ourselves for being who we were in less educated seasons. We spread that knowledge to anyone willing to listen, and help as best as we can to anyone reaching out to us directly.

    The other group, they may not have done the work that we have. They might have tried and fallen back enough times to avoid the stings of shame that come with it, yet can wonder why those of us favor distance over closeness.

    Then the third group that’s no better than the second one. They are the cheerleaders and defenders of an idea that supports their toxicity. They know how to put on a pretty mask to hide who they are, just like Group 2.

    Group 1 has allies, too. Never forget them.

    All sides have their reasons to enforce their definition of “forgiveness” around themselves and to others. It shouldn’t be any surprise which one I support, even if I’m still prone to shame myself for past mistakes.

    And it’s okay to.

    It’s only bad when you sit in the shame, or keep favoring those other groups that prefer the naïve, and even obedient version of you. The version of you that’s calling them out by doing and speaking to people better than them.

    Make time to forgive yourself for who you were. No one else can do it for you, and you’ll surprise yourself in the strength gained, and what was already there.

    D.F.

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  • Keep Up the Good Work

    (Edited 11/28/2023)

    “You did the work.”

    This is a statement I’ve been told multiple times by a friend, still early enough in my healing journey to not fully believe it. I was still battling the facts that were around me and within me. All of that had me feel less than qualified to feel that any work was being done, or was already done.

    This was years ago now, and I have a better idea about why I felt that way as deeply as I did. Mostly because I put a lot into material and emotional needs. Believing that if I had certain things in possession or in order, I’d feel like that work had finally been done.

    Things like having my own home. A high(er) paying and safer job. Both were seemingly possible thanks to a credit score raised from that then-new car. And having a new romance, which is ironic seeing as that same friend started as one, and I’m grateful it is what it’s become now.

    I see now that there were many other steps I had to take before feeling that the work has been done. I also had to consider that the work is never-ending once you start. But there are moments that let me know that certain works are completed.

    Double that in realms involving types of people I’m better off without.

    So of course I’ll keep going to this line of work. In hindsight, I quietly made a commitment to myself about doing so in the early days. Not in any specific words, just led by emotions I knew weren’t me, or for me.

    Going backwards now after what I’ve learned and learning would be insane. Even if sometimes, doing the work can drive you to near-insanity.

    But the rewards on the other side of that are worth the overtime.

    D.F.

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  • Inquisition

    The following will be a message to a different crowd than I’m used to writing to. It will be to the other sides of the toxic connections throughout our lives. Yeah, they’d never want to read something like this, but let’s pretend they do without malicious intent to follow.

    Let’s begin.

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    So I’ve decided to reach out to all of you because there are questions worth asking. Ones that your past and recurring victims know the idea of how you’ll answer, and for the more predictable lot, knowing exactly what words you’ll say.

    How does it feel to want and need control over someone that knows who you are? How would you feel if they could prove it to a mass audience? An audience that may involve people you’ve groomed to be on your side? What makes you think finding new ways to attack your victims will stop their declaration of healing after going no-contact, or have the intent to?

    Do you wish to be remembered as the reason someone is more emotionally mature, simply because you refuse to do the inner work? Do you want them to believe you when you say “I love you” without curling their attention back to you?

    You have no idea how many questions can be asked about your behavior. Given your history, we know you don’t care, above not caring to answer. Even now your brain’s ready to deflect and defend yourself by asking a string of questions back to confusion and gaslight our way back in your world. One held together by unresolved personal sadness, or even the outright need to remain evil.

    There’s probably no helping the latter, but evidence of the former doing better is simply by looking at us. The people that are saying “we’re not doing this to anyone because I feel bad for it being done to me.”

    We’ve known this pain either on the clock, at a so-called friend or family member’s house, or in a shared bed.

    For those who have given the same pain, we refuse to give it again when we’ve learned who inadvertently, or intentionally taught us to behave this way.

    So with all of that, my last question to you is this. Are you comfortable with the monster you show us, or are you uncomfortable because your true self is making us the person you wish to be?

    D.F.

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