The Brighter the Picture

  • The ABC’s of being a POS: Intro

    The ABC’s of being a POS: Intro

    (Edited 08/09/2024)

    Note: This upcoming series is for entertainment and educational purposes only. If you wish to learn more about mental health, abusive behaviors, and support, please talk to your primary physician’s office, or a licensed professional.

    For emergencies, please call 911, or call 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

    Life is full of a healthy balance of people that deserve hugs or suplexes.

    Sometimes both.

    There’s a long list of examples of these people in both the past and present, public or private figures, and all types of relationships.

    No matter what, the world has its shares of people that deserve attention as much as the others need to be starved from it.

    This is dedicated to the second half.  

    By now you’ve assumed that the POS in the title does NOT mean “point of sale.” It means the other thing.

    The one that made you think of a person or people who could understand physical actions more than a sentence about their behavior.

    And even though one word or phrase will sometimes be used for each letter, they are not limited to them.

    Consider each one a gateway into others that, like the ones chosen here, are tied to each other, and will be mentioned and even repeated within most of them.  

    So, if you or someone you know is a POS, and you’re looking for how to increase your villain potential, you’ve come to the wrong place.

    After all, what better way to talk about the tricks and tips in ways that match your actions towards your targets/marks?

    No matter what, remember this quote as this journey begins:

    “If it hurts you, it’s about you.”

    -Kingston Priest

    P.S. – It is understood that there are those with undiagnosed or misdiagnosed mental conditions which will have similar behaviors mentioned here. This is in no way meant to offend them, or their related parties. This project is dedicated to those who choose to behave certain ways that deserve to be spoken about.

    First: Animosity

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  • Goodbye To You: Releasing the Weight of Progressive Barriers

    “There’s some opportunities that won’t find you because of what surrounds you.” – Trent Sheldon, during The Mel Robbins Podcast.

    I can think back to how many things naturally came into my life because of making distance from people that that I knew weren’t right for me, but still felt obligated to stay connected to them. It’s one of the costs of trauma bonding that I’ve been breaking and I’ve been vocal about the more I’ve learned from it.

    I’ve written a few times in the past about that kind of presence, even moments where I was the negative one. The second half is important overall in mental health, since it’s helped me know what I don’t want from other connections, so the ones that are meant for me come and stay.

    It’s not a fully secure space for all of us. Some of us may still be around people that don’t want you above their vision of you, and can verbally dress it as if those ideas don’t exist, or they’re your fault.

    That’s proof that you’re onto something, and should stay on it.

    So whatever or even whoever your heart desires and you wish it to find you, do yourself a favor. If you want to share that with anyone, make sure they have a clear record of cheerleading and coaching you towards your goals. Anyone else revels in their ability to drain you of time, resources, and hope.

    The greater their distance, the closer you come to what’s meant for you.

    D.F.

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  • Chill Factor: Slowing Down While Still Moving Forward

    Sometimes I put too much on myself thinking that I have to stay busy to feel accomplished. The burnout that I spoke of last week is an example of it, and while it made me miss posting on Monday, it gave me time to think.

    For one, this blogging can’t stop. I’ve invested too much into its development and inner growth because of it. But as I get ready to continue my education in new fields, it may be wise to cut back on when I post.

    Speaking of education, I passed my final and gained the certificate in Classical Sociology.

    The education can’t stop either. While the follow-up class may be unavailable, it doesn’t mean I can’t look at related topics. Though admittedly, the last class was so informative and interesting that I’ve meant to listen to it all again.

    So I’ll start posting on Wednesdays and Fridays for now. I’ll still do my best not to miss even those days, but it give me more time to also say something on here that doesn’t feel rushed or uninspired.

    Plus, I’ve already passed an impressive point of making over 200 posts here, and the bulk of it was during a dark financial period, so I had time. Not so much, anymore, given my work, school, fitness, and art activities.

    Doing something with what I’ve learned and still learning since this blog started, while finding a balance with outer progression, makes the most sense.

    It always did. I just needed some extra time to believe that.

    D.F.

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  • The Golden Child: Protecting Your Youthful Self.

    Sometimes a person wants you to “stay in a child’s place” because they may not have healed from their own childhood.

    They might want you to stay as obedient, quiet, and submissive as they were to please people that are no longer here.

    You are their single or collective pressure point for things you weren’t responsible for. A dumping ground, a punching bag for unresolved pasts.

    That doesn’t excuse them, and you’re in your right to (not) forgive in any form you’re comfortable with.

    But maybe there is a way to stay in a child’s place without fitting that limiting definition. Or better yet, protecting that place.

    Somewhere in your youth may lie a touch of pure, unconditional joy and love. Where you felt free to express yourself without being torn away from what makes you smile. The older you get, the better your chances that you learn how to defend and nuture that innocence. Often with help, and chances are, you are no longer deflecting your pain to anyone.

    It will get messy in the defense, but healing and thriving isn’t without its dirt, bruises, and scars to remind you of why you survived.

    So if you are old enough to so much as pay bills, curse your receding hairline, and even count the grays in what’s left of it, give your younger self the care and compassion that we still deserve as an adult.

    If you are already a parent that shows their child or children love opposite of the turmoil you faced, keep going.

    The world needs more of us at all ages, through time and spirit.

    D.F.

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  • Love Takes Time: The Patience in Finding Romance

    Darling.

    Sweetheart.

    Terms of endearment that I have received from even staff members in different places. But even in older seasons, and under uncomfortable habits, I don’t think I’ve ever called anyone I had a relationship with words like that.

    Recently, that has changed.

    Granted, I am still declared single, and we are friends on the surface, but for some time now I have gained a mutual love interest that is the most unique one yet.

    Unique because of its origins, circumstances, and even the most surreal similarities.

    Recently we have discussed the chance of becoming official despite our distance from each other. A very small group of friends know of the matter, and I surely talked about this with my therapist.

    But I think what matters the most is that this is proof of the power behind being patient for a version of love that I always believed in, but wasn’t ready for with who I was prior to this.

    There are other factors that we have repeatedly discussed in our time together. Even in our rougher moments, we’ve come to a point where they may not matter anymore. We are eager to discuss this further in person, to know for sure that we want to go to the next level.

    Maybe we will or won’t. Even if we are meant to be with completely different people in the longer run, the patience and maturity built up between us will be beneficial for a lasting and purer love than we’ve ever had prior to us.

    I look forward to seeing what’s next.

    D.F.

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  • School Daze: Taking On A New Direction in Learning.

    Burnout is real.

    It can sneak up on you at any given point while you’re in the mix of any work you’re into. It can happen during rest, like it did for me most of last week. It’s also why I missed posting on Wednesday and Friday.

    Admitted I am doing enough to get by, but last week I also started a course in Classical Sociology. It’s an 8-week course that you can do at your own pace, but I had a lead foot and made it to the start of Week 5’s material.

    Inspiration to take this on came in twofold.

    The first was inspired by notes I found from a sociology class I took years ago, which I only did to get credits to move forward in an unrelated major. I’m sure there was zero interest in it, but I’m glad I had the notes to skim through.

    The second inspiration lied in everything I’ve written on here since 2022. I feel it has some tie to the social science that goes beyond what I’ve discovered in old and current personal circles.

    Much like me discovering my sources of bonding to emotional and mental abuse, I find this class to be great for learning the origins of sociology. Where it takes me from here is yet to be seen.

    Even in its completion, it’ll be a great thing to share on my resume when the time comes to move up where I am, or move on to where I’m meant to be.

    So if I disappear again on this new educational journey without notice, I’m okay. May even be the first time that I’ve left without warning, and I’ll try not to do it again.

    D.F.

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  • Found: Discovering Your Path

    Imagine a time where you built something for yourself or with others that you did not feel was possible.

    Whether it’s because you don’t have everything you thought was needed for that to happen, or you thought you needed more time to emotionally prepare for it, both can prove a few things.

    Sometimes opportunities you’re invited to or thrown into show up to help you along on your journey. If you follow certain beliefs, you will claim its main source(s) telling you that you’re destined for the next stage.

    You may also find your name being spoken in rooms and in people’s hearts that want what’s best for you. An extra reminder that you belong in places you are working and fighting for.

    On the other side, no matter what was said to or about you that may drag you down to someone’s harsh idea of you, take that as proof that you’re onto something as well.

    Sometimes those things are said by people who never gained what they see you having. Or they have it but only through underhanded means where they disguise hurting people as love.

    You weren’t built for that. While that group may resent you for it, others celebrate you. Both are key to lifting you up.

    Enjoy and embrace those moments when they come. Whether you believe it by universal and spiritual means, or though genuine hard work ethic, they were made for you in the present and future self for a reason.

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  • Pain and Gain: Facing the Hard Truths for a Better Life

    Thinking of making Fridays a day to start sharing quotes that I get from random sources throughout my week. Whether it’s from scripted or unscripted material, there’s always something to pull from it, starting with this:

    “We don’t have to be afraid of our pain. We just have to decide what we’re going to do with it.”

    Jet, from Avatar: The Last Airbender (Live-action)

    The blog running for as long as it has is a great example of that.

    What good were all the frustrations and other rough emotions doing for me just staying bottled in?

    Choosing this path over other ones has helped communicate things that were always in me, but weren’t as easily accessible because I had to bury myself out of decades of every bit of emotional mess that I often put myself in, as well as held on to longer than I should have.

    Not saying that some of it isn’t still there, but it’s gotten better to remind myself how to channel it to posts like this, and other actions even offline.

    Take time to notice the moments where you’ve converted pain into the things, and be around people that make you the most comfortable. Then celebrate yourself for being free enough to move forward, or having been free from the kinds of trouble that held you back for too long.

    Enjoy your weekend 😊

    D.F.

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  • Skin: How I Stopped Hiding My Blackness

    The first entry of this month was a declaration of my racial identity. For too long I felt like its reveal would push away anyone that would have settled on this blog being written by anyone that matches their comforts. After a while I’d reveal that much and let whatever happens happen.

    I eventually told myself that I didn’t need to hide that part of me anymore. I was already successful at opening about matters that cover most of this blog. Ones that people of my race are divided between those that reveal their emotional and domestic issues, and others that want them to stay quiet about it.

    It was already a “damned if I do or don’t” feeling going into those topics alone. They are ones that anyone of every background may relate to if they’ve done the work to reveal it to themselves. Holding them in while being secretive about my race to potentially reach a wider audience felt safe.

    Then came more research. More awareness that other black folk of all ages, identities, and more, were sharing their discoveries, pains, and progress on every platform possible. I remember looking at how much of a following they had and was almost intimidated by the idea of “who’s going to listen to me when we’re already out here?”

    “No,” I told myself. “They are out here. You’re not. At least not fully.”

    It also helped to remind myself that I didn’t start this for mass appeal. I did it because it was the only way to share my views and opinions without starting a conflict with anyone close to me that it could affect.

    That didn’t work out too well with one, but it didn’t stop me.

    Like every disappointing and hurtful moment, it was inspirational to keep going.  

    So, months ago, I made the progress to use other platforms to do just that. Share my experiences with my face sometimes in full view, tagging this page to accounts for others to witness what else dances in my otherwise entertaining head.

    Being comfortable with the fact that for any one person that walks or avoids because I don’t fit the image of what black people do, others will come and praise me for being open about how I’m healing. How I hope to heal others.

    No matter how different our race, appearance, age ranges, and other things will be with each other, healing from what’s hurt and hurting us can be a way to come together and share joy lying on the other sides of that. Moments will be shared that are exclusive to our person, but there’s always something good to take from someone else’s story.

    Sometimes it takes putting aside any shallow grievances to do it, but it is both possible and worth journey.

    It has been for me.

    D.F.

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  • Message from the King: College Lessons Revisited (Part 2 of 2)

    Previously, I talked about revising notes taken while watching The King’s Speech during college many years ago. The following will conclude said notes. For further context, please read part one, located here.

    “Not to get caught up in saying what you want to sound more important than what the message’s point is.”

    I claim a lot of guilt for this, and I say that laughing while typing. I’ve sometimes wanted to get a point across that may mimic how “cool” someone else sounded, and risk mimicking them so much I lose my topic.

    I had to learn to just be natural. Be chill. The more authentic I sound, the better hold I’ll have to any willing audience. It’s easy to do on this format. Backspacing is the greatest.

    Finally…

    “Finding your own pace, not to worry about sounding as good as others appear to you. Everyone has their own style.”

    Confession. I skimmed through the four notes before focusing on what they said in full. i had only read this one right as I was settled on writing for the other. This note fits too well with what I finished saying there.

    It’s quite a moment to realize how ahead of myself I was, only to have made time to use these methods in the style, pacing, and balance that comes with knowing what I’ve wanted to say for decades.

    These notes date back to Spring of 2012, a little into a year later to the point that inspired the first posts I made here.

    I’d like to think that I came a long way since then.

    Soon enough, I’ll take all this knowledge to the stage.

    D.F.

    P.S. Pardon the late posting. Tech issue resolved.


  • Message from the King: College Lessons Revisited (Part 1 of 2)

    So I’ve been doing a lot of cleaning out old papers these last few months. The most recent had me run into an old notebook with stuff written for a public speaking class.

    One section had notes regarding the biopic The King’s Speech, about King George VI overcoming his speech impediment to inspire his people during WW2. A well made movie that was surely inspiring for all of us.

    Here’s two of the four notes that I had down that still hold weight to me now:

    “Can’t get too caught up in the issues that have little to do with your presentation.”

    This is partly why I have so many drafts either on standby or deleted. Sometimes I get into a zone where the brain bounces around into writing things that are relative to me, but might be derailing or off-putting to anyone reading the post.

    Catching myself in those moments has helped create additional entries, but there’s overall satisfaction in the self-control to stay on point, and try not to rely on too many callbacks.

    “Learn to focus. Have confidence in your words, on and off paper.”

    As I said, doing that on paper/screen was and can sometimes still be a challenge. For as long as I’ve done it, I often found it easier to communicate clearly.

    On occasion, I’ll find myself fighting to have some solid closing to what I’m saying, especially when I know I have an audience’s attention.

    The more informed and collected I am about what I’ll say, the bigger the confidence will be. It’s an extra notch towards the pat on the back you deserve to give yourself.

    I’ll conclude this on Monday. Thanks for reading 🙂

    D.F.